A posture of listening is one that surrenders control, seeking to stop making another into my image, but rather allowing him to be who God created him to be. in being listened to, people feel loved, cherished, and known, are more likely to share more, and invite others to join them.
If we build trust by listening, here are some tips on how to listen well.
- Ask good, open-ended questions: questions that invite exploration without a hint of control. As a small group leader, my questions should never be about getting the right answer or, and this is where I can struggle, seek to push my agenda. Rather a good question will allow each group member to explore his own ideas in freedom. Sometimes the best question you can ask is, “Can you tell me more about that?”
- Reflect back on what another just shared. In reflecting back you validate what he just shared. Also in reflection, you are trying to help the other person find the underlying emotions, values and beliefs in what she just shared.
- Make sure your bodily posture is one that shows you are listening. Make eye contact; nod; audible sounds like “uh huh,” “hmm,” or “really?” can show that you are listening; even how you sit communicates the degree to which you are listening.
I firmly believe that as people are listened to, they will trust the group more, but even more importantly they will learn to trust our Heavenly Father who always hears and listens.
This article on how to build trust in your small group originally appeared here, and is used by permission.
