4. Realize a key difference.
Know the distinction between a person who’s a chronic problem and a person who needs immediate intervention (moral failure, a nonnegotiable rule broken). Volunteers who just aren’t cutting it need more tenderness, grace, and chances than those who knew the consequences of their choice and chose poorly.
Removing a ministry volunteer is your last resort. Take that step only after you’ve done everything you can to help that person succeed.
Before you remove a volunteer leader
- Have a conversation with your supervisor. Tell him what you’re planning to tell the person. Ask for advice, coaching, and prayer. Don’t make important decisions in isolation. Get a second opinion. Supervisor support is crucial since backlash is likely.
- Pray!
- Have strong evidence and anecdotal illustrations to support your decision.
- Confront problem youth workers about specific issues before removing them. It may be an issue related to attitude, performance, or team fit. Be honest. Tell the person you need to see specific changes (tell them what) or else you may ask them to step away from the ministry. Tell them you’ll give them a month to see changes. During this time, check their pulse regarding their commitment. I’ve found that some people will confess, “I’m just not into it anymore.” Give them the opportunity to step aside gracefully.
- Set a date to meet and review again in a month.
When you remove ministry volunteers
- Be tender but strong. Grace and truth are needed when having this difficult conversation. Grace says, “I care about you.” Truth says, “You’re not working out in this ministry, and here’s why…”
- Don’t beat around the bush. Be clear. “Sandy, things haven’t change since our last meeting, and I would like to ask you to step away from the youth ministry for a season.” The season can be six months, a year, two years, the rest of the 21st century. It doesn’t need to be decided right away.
- Don’t ask the person to stay until you find another leader. Think through that part ahead of time. Be ready to accept the responsibilities the person will leave behind.
After removing volunteers
- Immediately after the meeting, spend time alone. Review, reflect, and pray. Do some activity in which you can relax and express the emotions you have. I’m always so stressed before the meeting and so relieved after the meeting that my emotions are very tender.
- Follow up with a letter. Tell the person that you’re thankful for their period of service and that you’re sorry things didn’t work out and that you’ll be praying for peace and reconciliation.
- Don’t avoid the person.
- If it’s appropriate, offer the person’s name to another ministry in the church.
- Expect some people to be angry. This is natural, and it can take time to heal.
- Talk about the meeting with a trusted friend, your mentor, or another youth worker who can relate to what you’ve gone though.
- Don’t obsess over it. You made the right decision. Move on. Lead your team. Hopefully, it will be a long time before you do it again. Oh yeah…you’ll have to do it again some day.
