Help! My Small Group is Not Connecting!

So you’re leading a small group and they aren’t connecting. Join the club … we have all led a group that did not connect at some point in the small group journey. It seems to creep up and surprise us. We can’t believe that people have problems getting along. We forget that people get into fights, arguments and sometimes they just don’t get along. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s going to happen in the small group you lead if you have not seen it happen already.

The problem is that every person believes they are the center of the universe and the groups we lead push them to be reminded that’s just not true.

That is not a comfortable reminder at times, and it often leads to conflict. I know you did not count on this when you signed up to lead the perfect group, but where there is a group there is messiness. What your group needs is for you to lead through the tension.

Here are a few reminders when your group isn’t connecting …

  • Mix up the format — sometimes you just need to change the routine of the group to wake the group up!
  • Change where you meet — change of environment can open up hearts.
  • Go do something together as a group — bowl, do a mission project, skate. Just do something together.
  • Expose conflict and confront it privately — if there is hidden conflict, just deal with it and help people move through it.
  • Stay consistent and connected — show up and keep reaching out to people in the group.
  • Pray, pray and pray some more — invite God to work where you can’t.

If your group is in a funk, don’t let it throw you off track as a leader. Lead through it, trust God and learn from it as you go.  

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Michael Bayne
Michael is a follower of Christ, a husband, a dad and a pastor. He serves Grace Community Church in Clarksville, Tennessee as the Executive Pastor. He has served in multiple family ministry roles as a kids, student, and family pastor for 16 years. He’s also the Team Leader @ Parent Ministry for Kids and drinks way too much Diet Mountain Dew! Follow Michael on twitter at @michael_bayne.

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