Guest Post by Chris Horton
When I first started off in youth ministry I was as competitive as a youth pastor could be when comparing my ministry to those of other churches. Stats, budgets, buildings, etc. were always at the forefront of my mind and jealousy and pride were my constant companions.
Then I read or heard (can’t remember which) Andy Stanley discussing his relationship with long time friend Louie Giglio. Both are gifted communicators and leading successful ministries and I was taken back by Andy’s honesty when he talked about his jealousy of Louie. He used an illustration in which he would announce that Louie was going to fill in preaching for him and the audience would stand and cheer and the buzz throughout the week was about Louie’s preaching. Then attendance would always sky rocket on those Sundays, and Louie would deliver an outstanding sermon that would leave people talking about it for weeks. Andy admitted that he began to covet and be jealous toward his friend.
There was much at stake in their relationship beyond ministry circles. They were best friends, their families spent time together on vacations, and they were partners in the ministry. Andy had to make a choice: continue feeding the monster or kill it.
Instead of feeding the monster, he chose to kill it by celebrating Louie’s accomplishments. He had to verbally celebrate with Louie. That was the only way he could defeat those thoughts that would build in his mind and heart. And Louie does the same for Andy. They cheer for each other, encourage each other and brag on each other.
After experiencing this story (about two guys I respect in many ways!) I decided I had to do the same with the youth ministers and ministries in my area. So I chose to be a megaphone of celebration for them. There are four primary ways I do this.
1. I celebrate with them.
There is nothing more constructive than seeing a youth ministry as part of the Church, and not as a competing member of churches. Right across the street from our Baptist church is a Methodist church, and over time I have gotten to know their youth leader. She does a great job with their youth program and is reaching teens I never could. Each Wednesday we try to encourage each other, celebrate our ministries together, and see us as a unified force rather than two separate ministries. I try to do this with as many of the churches as I can. I no longer see them as a threat, as a competing force or as a means of measuring success, but as partners in youth ministry.
2. I brag about their ministries.
While I certainly promote our youth ministry when visiting with newcomers or teens I meet in the community, I always try to throw in that we are one of many great youth ministries. I know the other youth leaders by name and have their contact info. If for some reason our youth ministry isn’t a fit, I can send them to our other churches. There is something to be said for ministries that promote and support each other. I am by no means perfect at this, but I try to plug our youth ministries whenever possible.
3. I communicate these celebrations with them personally.
I know that I enjoy getting words of encouragement as a youth pastor so I attempt to be that encouragement to my fellow laborers. This could be a handwritten letter, an email, a shout out on Facebook or Twitter, a phone call or text message. It doesn’t matter the form, just encourage each other. Celebrate a successful outreach, or mid-week service or mission trip. There is so much the world can point out that divides the Christian family, a unified group of churches from various denominations, working together and celebrating one another is a great form of shredding the negative.
4. I try to partner with them in ministry.
It’s one thing to give lip service to fellow ministries, and another to partner together in reaching teens through a combined force of ministry volunteers, budgets, teens, passions and vision. The most successful ministry events I have been a part of have been joint efforts with multiple churches involved. We have seen larger harvests of fruit from these partnerships and as a result, we all benefited from the partnership and have celebrated as our ministries have grown with new believing teens who eventually reach out to their peers and families. Celebrate together, but also partner together.
I’m thankful Andy was vulnerable enough to share this story and I pray that I will always be a youth pastor that celebrates with others instead of feeding the jealousy monster.
Christ Horton has been serving in Youth Ministry for close to 10 years. He lives in New mexico with his wife and children, and blogs at the Youth Ministry cafe .
