Failing forward is a helpful thing to learn. Read how kidmin workers and parents can help children learn to forgive and forget. Dealing with mistakes will benefit kids in the long run.
A parent once asked me to meet with her son. She wanted me to reinforce some things she and her husband were telling him. She knew that my kidmin team at church was teaching kids the same things that parents teach at home. When children hear from somebody other than Mom or Dad, they suddenly realize maybe their parents aren’t as off as they thought.
So when this young man heard he was going to tell Brother Jim what he did, he told his mom, “I don’t want to go! Brother Jim thinks I’m wonderful, and I don’t want him to know how I really am.”
To which his mother replied, “Too bad, I’ve already told Brother Jim how you really are.” This mom understood a principal that this young man was about to learn. After my kids make a mistake and repent, I don’t treat them any differently than before.
This young man found out that just because he messed up, that didn’t mean I would treat him any differently. This empowers kids to repent because they know true forgiveness will follow.
The Perks of Praise
One method to help you successfully treat your kids the same? Always look for ways to point out what they’ve done right. Speak good things about your children.
This begins with how you look at them. Start looking at your children not as half empty but as half full. Yes, some things need fixing. But focus on the good by talking about it. Train yourself to look at your kids positively. Then speak out when you see the good, even when it’s a normal, everyday thing.
Years ago, while vacationing in California, my family went into a popular store. It had great clothes, but the employees were apparently hired based on how many tattoos and piercings they have. They looked like a canvas filled with drawings.
When we walked out, I handed each of my girls a $100 bill. They looked at me funny, so I said, “Thank you for not putting your Mom and I through what the employees in this store put their parents through.” Looking at somebody who’s 16 to 18 and has 27 tattoos and 400 earrings (just in their nose) makes me want to give my children a love offering.
So catch your children doing something right and brag on them. We’re so quick to tell our kids what they did wrong, but let’s start telling them what they’re doing right. Let’s reward them for good behavior.
My model for this is my Father God. He rewards those who diligently seek Him. God will correct us, but He’ll also reward us when we do things right. We need to be the same way as parents and teachers.
