Sometimes reading a church’s bylaws feels like stepping into the twilight zone.
-
Some are long—very long.
-
Some are irrelevant.
-
Some are just plain weird.
Curious, I asked my Twitter followers to share the strangest bylaw provisions they’d seen. These are actual church bylaws—not just policy rules. The responses did not disappoint.
Here are my 12 favorites.
1. No Colored Drinks Allowed
Especially red Kool-Aid. (Apparently, some members were sneaking it in flasks!)
2. Active Membership = One Penny a Year
If you give at least one cent annually, you count as active. (This would cut Baptist rolls in half!)
3. Strict Rules for the Church Van
The bylaws have detailed guidelines for the church van—but the church doesn’t actually own one. (Maybe time to add an “Uber amendment.”)
4. Communion Dress Code
Men serving communion must wear a coat and tie. Strangely, pants aren’t required.
5. At Least Five Deacons
The church must have five deacons minimum, even though it only has 20 members. (What if one candidate is a preschooler?)
6. No Cassette Sales
Selling cassettes is banned. But apparently, 8-tracks and vinyl records are still fine.
7. Glitter-Free Zone
No glitter allowed in the church. (I might boycott this one!)
8. No Secret Societies
Church members cannot belong to any secret society. Does that include Democrats and Republicans?
9. Alcohol Only at Communion
No drinking alcohol—except during the Lord’s Supper. No wonder it’s always a high-attendance day!
10. No Paintings for Sale
Selling paintings is prohibited on church property. (Apparently, a rampant problem.)
11. No Attending With Diarrhea
If you’re sick, stay home. (Honestly, that’s probably a good policy for everyone.)
12. No Assigned Pew Seats
No one can have an assigned pew. But you’re welcome to bring your own chair.
Your Turn
Have you seen any strange or funny church bylaws? Share your stories—or give your prayerful insights into these 12 unusual rules.
Church life is serious, but sometimes… the bylaws bring a little comic relief.
