Preteen Ministry Discipline Tips (cont.)
Train leaders to ask misbehaving students, “What will you do differently?” It’s not an option to just “opt-out” and not return, whether the kid is being separated out of the room or just to a different area of it.
After all, we’re teaching with the intention and belief that it’s for the good of kids. So it’s a bad idea to communicate, either verbally or by practice, that “if you don’t want to learn, you can leave.” That smacks of power struggle and won’t correct their behavior in the long run.
Finally, if someone else handles this step for you, it’s good to personally reconnect with the preteen when your teaching portion is over. Maybe a reason existed for their behavior that you need to know.
In any case, the preteen needs to hear from you that you really want them to be part of your group…but distracting behavior prevents that. Let them know you’re on their side…but that doesn’t mean you’ll let them get away with anything, either.
These escalating-response discipline tips work in a small-group or large-group setting. The key is to learn and practice them consistently so they become natural to you. Whether in large or small group, I’m constantly managing behaviors without even noticing.
In preteen ministry, distractions and disruptions are bound to happen. But they need not sandbag a teaching environment. Skilled leaders can develop a dual personality. That way, you don’t have to choose between teaching and dealing with behaviors. You can do both at once.
Mark Friestad is the preteen pastor at North Coast Calvary Chapel in Carlsbad, California. He has the coolest job in the world because he gets to lead a preteen ministry, Surge, full-time.
