I Trust You? 3 Reasons People May Trust You Less Than You Imagined

2. People won’t say I trust you if you are tempted to hold back from full authenticity.

When you are not entirely the real you, the people you lead can sense it. They may not know exactly what they feel, but they know something isn’t quite right.

It’s easy for this to happen. Perhaps you’ve been burned, betrayed or berated. It knocks the wind out of your sails and may cause you to hold back.

In the last point, the people are a little distant from you, in this point, you are a little distant from them. Either way, trust is diminished.

If you don’t catch this lack of being the real you, it can slowly escalate to an unintentional withholding of truth. You are not lying, just not full candor. That’s a thin line to walk. This doesn’t come from a duplicitous nature or a political bent. It’s more commonly comes from a place of hurt or lack of confidence.

People never fully trust a leader who is not authentic, not fully honest, or candid and direct in communication.

Connection, (or reconnection), is the beginning of the remedy.

Take a risk and follow this principle. If you lead from your heart, the real you, people will connect with you. If they connect with you, they will trust you, and if they trust you, they will follow you.

Be yourself and speak with confidence and candor.

3. People won’t say I trust you if they have noticed you don’t always do what you say you will do.

It happens. You’re busy, on the run, and you told someone you’d do something, and it slipped your mind.

Could have been anything. A phone call, email, a resource you promised to get for them or take care of a small problem. The specific circumstance isn’t the point here. The real issue is that you didn’t do what you said you would, and someone was counting on you.

It’s not a huge deal if this is a rare occurrence. Like being late for an appointment. If that’s rare, you receive grace, but if it’s a habit, you lose trust.

If any of these little things become even a slight pattern, it’s a bigger deal than you may realize. Here’s why. It communicates that you don’t value the person and that lowers trust.

People never fully trust leaders who do not keep their promises and do what they say they will do.

As strange as it might sound, it’s better that you don’t make small promises that you don’t need to. Let’s take a Sunday morning example to explain what I mean. Rather than telling someone you will email them about something, ask them to email you. That is often appropriate.

Aside from examples like that, no matter how small, do what you say you will do. Use a simple system with your smartphone. Make a quick note for each one and follow through quickly.

Trust is a sacred element of leadership and the foundation of all relationships. Take care of it, and it will take care of you.

This article about I trust you originally appeared here.
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Dan Reiland
Dr. Dan Reiland serves as Executive Pastor at 12Stone Church in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He previously partnered with John Maxwell for 20 years, first as Executive Pastor at Skyline Wesleyan Church in San Diego, then as Vice President of Leadership and Church Development at INJOY. He and Dr. Maxwell still enjoy partnering on a number of church related projects together.