Elder / Board Checklist
If a split seems inevitable, use this helpful checklist in board or elder meetings when significant tension is present.
Leadership & Governance
☐ Are leaders aligned on mission, authority and decision-making process?
☐ Have we clearly defined what decisions require congregational input?
☐ Are bylaws, policies and membership processes current and understood?
Communication
☐ Are we communicating consistently, not reactively?
☐ Is there one agreed-upon narrative being shared publicly?
☐ Are we addressing rumors directly when they surface?
Spiritual Health
☐ Are leaders praying together, not just individually?
☐ Have we confessed failures or blind spots where appropriate?
☐ Are we responding with humility rather than defensiveness?
Conflict & Care
☐ Have we involved outside counsel or mediation early?
☐ Are emotionally wounded leaders being cared for privately?
☐ Are staff and volunteers clear about expectations during this season?
Risk & Readiness
☐ Do we understand the legal, financial and relational implications of a split?
☐ Have we documented key decisions and agreements?
☐ Are we quietly prepared for multiple outcomes?
Finally, A Pastoral Guide for When to Give Up
Unity is biblical—but false unity is not the same thing as spiritual health. There comes a time in every church split when we must realize that fighting for unity at all costs is not the way to go.
Unity Should Be Fought For When:
- The conflict is about preferences, not doctrine or mission.
- Trust can still be rebuilt through repentance and repair.
- Leaders are willing to submit to accountability.
- Forgiveness or healing can be achieved.
Unity Should Be Questioned When:
- Core theological convictions are incompatible.
- Abuse of power or manipulation is present.
- Leaders refuse correction or outside counsel.
- Unity is being used to silence legitimate concerns.
- Healing may not be possible together.
As Dietrich Bonhoeffer warned, “Those who love their dream of a Christian community more than the Christian community itself become destroyers of that community.”
Pastoral Wisdom for This Season
- Unity cannot be commanded—it must be cultivated.
- Peace at any cost often transfers the cost to the wounded.
- Sometimes separation, handled humbly, prevents deeper harm.
A Final Pastoral Question
Before fighting for unity at all costs, ask:
“What kind of unity are we actually protecting—and who WILL PAY for it?”
