“And then I have to tell every single organization, every booking, because how do I honor the people that put their name on me?” Toni went on to say. “I have to tell them, ‘Hey, I am choosing to leave my marriage. This is why. I can’t tell you everything, because I don’t want to embarrass him or our family.’” She added, “And then I have to watch as churches, pastors, organizations cancel me. And I didn’t do anything. And then I have to figure out how I’m gonna make money for my kids.”
Toni expressed that she leaned on her parents for financial support, in particular for a lawyer. She indicated that during the divorce process, she was asked but refused to “sign an NDA about my life, because I’m tired of lying, and I wanna tell the truth about what happened to me.”
Toni expressed that a community of friends and confidants helped her through the crisis, and she even formed a board to help her make wise decisions while enduring a divorce as a public figure.
“We just left Hillsong because of all their scandal, and now we’ve got a scandal,” Toni remarked.
Nevertheless, Toni said that her desire has never been to embarrass her ex-husband but to be honest about what has transpired. Referencing her new book, “Don’t Try This Alone: How To Build Deep Community When You Want To Hide From Your Pain,” Toni said, “I feel like I’ve moved on. I feel like I’ve rebuilt so many things. Even with the book, I did not put all that stuff in there. I tried to be as honoring as I could.”
“And it’s been hard to watch that not be reciprocated,” she continued. “For there not to be honesty and real, true repentance and reconciliation for our son. And all you can just do is hope that it’ll come.”
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ChurchLeaders has reached out to Sam Collier for comment and will update this article in the event of a response.
