Miscarriage Changed Me

2. Rejoice with those who are rejoicing.

Not only did life carry on for everyone around me, but friends got pregnant and babies were born. I was not prepared for this. But God in his goodness carried me along, and friends were gracious as I learned what it looked like to rejoice with others even in the midst of my own grief.

God gives and takes in different ways and at different times. You don’t have to say “Yes” to the first baby shower invite you receive, but you are called to find your way to rejoice with those who are rejoicing. Even if you go home and cry afterward, seek to rejoice, as much as you are able, with those who are rejoicing during your time of grief.

As friends mourned with you in your loss, you are called to rejoice with them in their joys. Though it may hurt, seek to do it in God’s strength. He will be honored, and your heart will heal in the process.

3. God will give grace for the future.

The thought of facing my due date with empty arms, or being pregnant and vulnerable again, seemed daunting. The innocence of pregnancy had been lost, and the fear of silent ultrasounds or seeing blood too early were now realities that would mark any future pregnancy.

Praise God we have a faithful high priest who himself wept over loss and is able to sympathize with our weaknesses (John 11:35). When my due date finally came, when I saw another positive pregnancy test and when the time arrived for me to enter the ultrasound room again, I drew near to God and found fresh mercy and grace to help in time of need.

4. God will give again.

We have a God who gives. We see this most clearly at the cross. “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32).

Perhaps one of the sweetest mercies, for those who trust in Jesus, is his promise to never leave or forsake (Hebrews 13:5). He gives himself, his ever abiding presence, and I have found that it is typically in times of loss that I cherish him most. He sees the heartache that no one else can see, and is able to heal, comfort, strengthen and give again in his own perfect timing and way.