When I first began teaching as a college professor, I was actually teaching this very text in one of my classes. I had a classroom of undergraduates before me, all of whom were in the vicinity of 18-21 years old—except for one student. I had one elderly widow in that class who was 83 years old. And she had decided that she wanted to come back to school and learn the Bible, and so there she was in the midst of all these whipper-snapper undergraduates. And it was great.
But I was teaching this text about widows, and when I laid out the interpretive options (“it is better to marry than to burn with passion” or “to burn in judgment”), she spoke up and interjected with force and conviction. She said, “Oh, I think it means to burn with passion.” I remember at that moment being kind of stunned because it was clear that she had not studied this before, but she nevertheless spoke with great confidence about her interpretation. And I tried not to break into too big of a smile as the realization came over me—and the rest of the class—that her exclamation was more of a testimony than exegesis.
But I never forgot what she said because I think it rang really true. I think she understood this text exactly in the right way, and she spoke from experience. It is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Marriage is certainly a better alternative to the constant distraction of a desire for marital relations. If that is a constant distraction for you—especially if God brings some particular person into your life—then you are just fine to get married. The Apostle Paul married at one point, but now he is single. Don’t feel constrained by Paul’s example as a single person. Go ahead and get married, and don’t look back. Staying unmarried like Paul is good. Getting married is good too. Each one has his own calling from the Lord, and we come to know that calling through the gifts and opportunities God gives us—or withholds from us. And if God gives you the opportunity to be married and you want to be married, go for it.
But if that opportunity does not come your way—even though you wish it would—just keep in mind what Paul says. Paul says you are in a better position. You are not at a disadvantage in God’s kingdom by remaining unmarried. Steward that calling well for as long as you have it. Ask God to make the paths plain for the “unmarried” calling he’s given you. It may be a season, or it may be for life. God will make that plain in due time. In the meantime, don’t despair of your calling. Lean into it for the glory of God.
This article about how the Apostle Paul married at one point in his life originally appeared here.
