But nobody ever cancels their meeting with me and tells me, “Hey Carey, I just wanted to make sure you had enough time to prepare for Sunday and edit your next book.”
Instead, I get dozens (or often, hundreds) of emails every day asking me for something someone else wants.
The principle: No one will ever ask you to complete your top priority. They will only ask you to complete theirs.
4. YOU ARE BAD AT SAYING NO
Many leaders, including most pastors, don’t like saying no. And I admit, it’s hard.
I still want to say yes to everything that comes my way (well, almost everything).
So why are we so bad at saying no?
It’s because we want to be liked. Which moves us leaders into a serious problem: Leadership requires you to take people to destinations they would not go without your leadership.
Stop for a moment and, if you would, re-read that sentence.
Do you see the challenge?
Leadership is inherently difficult because it requires a leader to take people where they don’t naturally want to go.
So you have a choice as a leader.
You can focus on leading people, or focus on being liked.
When you focus on being liked, you will instinctively try to please the people you’re leading. And when you do, you will become confused.
Pleasing people is inherently confusing because people don’t agree. One person wants it one way. Another wants it another way.
And soon, you’re bending over backward to make everyone happy, which of course means that in the end, you will end up making no one happy, including yourself. It’s actually a recipe for misery for everyone.
It’s also a recipe for inertia.
If you focus on being liked, you won’t lead. You will never have the courage to do what needs to be done.
5. YOU ALWAYS CHEAT THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS
You already know this, but you have core priorities that are important but never urgent.
You know you should spend more time with:
Your family
Working on your marriage
Taking better care of yourself
Doing long term planning
Working harder on your content
Reading
Etc. etc. etc.
And the reason you don’t do this…is the urgent demands on your time always win out.
You cheat your family, yourself and even the most important aspects of your job.
After all, the number one thing you say to your family should never be sorry.
This article originally appeared here.
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