So you signed up for leadership, but you didn’t really sign up for all the critics that came with it, did you? And yet here you are. Next question: Did anything really prepare you for the emotional journey of leadership Nope. Me neither. How to handle your critics?
Criticism is an almost daily staple for most leaders. You get everything from side comments, to direct challenges, to people who walk out the door, to anonymous notes sent to you by people with no courage.
You dread it. I dread it. Who doesn’t? In fact, it can completely derail your day, your week and your work. I can’t tell you how many times I have a completely sarcastic, immature and emotional response ready for my critics as soon as they sting me.
And, of course, it’s a horrendous mistake to ever let those comments see daylight. But in my head, it’s so easy to take revenge.
So: how do you handle your critics?
There will always be critics
It’s easy to dream about working in a place where no one criticizes anyone.
And, as a result, more than a few leaders have left their current job find greener pastures where there won’t be as much opposition, only to be disappointed that criticism just seems to come with the territory wherever you go.
Ditto with starting your own venture. As long as you have customers and staff, you’ll have critics.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some toxic workplaces and there are definitely some toxic people. And there are healthy workplaces and healthy people.
But even in a healthy environment, criticism is inevitable.
So can you avoid criticism? Well, the best way to avoid significant critics is to do nothing significant. But then all you end up with is regret. So how handle your critics — who will inevitably come your way?
HANDLE YOUR CRITICS LIKE A PRO
The basic problem for me personally with criticism? Honestly, it makes me want to respond like a toddler would.
Criticism naturally makes me defend, deny, and if I’m having a bad day, it also makes me want to retaliate.
None of that is good.
And if you study leaders who don’t do well in the long run, they almost always tend to respond to critics with immaturity.
This is where emotional intelligence can be a leader’s best friend. And the good news is, emotional intelligence can be learned (here, for example, are five EI hacks that can help you grow as a leader). Here are five ways to handle your critics like a pro.
1. DON’T RESPOND FOR 24 HOURS. JUST DON’T.
Every time you get a critical email, a critical comment, a critical text or phone call, something happens inside you, doesn’t it? Your heart starts beating faster. You feel hurt, even crushed depending on what they said. And sometimes you get angry. And usually, when that happens, your emotions derail your brain. At least they derail mine.
I learned years ago almost nothing good happens when I’m upset. In an attempt to address the situation, I almost always make it worse. Even if I convince myself I’ll make it better, I usually don’t. Not when I’m upset.
