If the emotion of “safe” isn’t perceived, that doesn’t mean the conversation is unsafe, it may just mean that there are insecurities in play or there isn’t enough time in that environment.
2. A Healthy and Safe Environment
A healthy culture that is conducive to predictable behavior helps create a safe environment where honest conversations can freely take place.
Whether it’s your family or your church team, predictable behavior guided by shared values invites open, honest and meaningful conversations.
Without shared values it’s difficult to understand the playing field. (The rules of the conversation.) Shared values doesn’t mean all opinions align and are in agreement. It does mean that in the big picture you share the same desired ultimate outcomes.
This also does not imply a perfect culture. They don’t exist. Human relationship will always experience conflict, but giving the benefit of the doubt up front and a willingness to say “I’m sorry” if needed, goes a long way to the next conversation being equally honest and even more productive.
3. Cultivated and Tested Trust
Trust shared between two people, or a group, is a sacred covenant that should never be taken for granted and always honored with fierce commitment.
Which comes first, trust or a healthy relationship? That is, do we first trust in order to develop an open and honest relationship? Or do we need to experience an open and honest relationship to create trust?
Both sides can be supported.
We can say that trust is a gift that requires risk, and we must extend trust to some degree for any relationship to gain traction. We can also say that trust is only established by the demonstration of trustworthy behavior.
The easy way out is to say that both are required, and that’s true. But I believe the first one is the key. At some point risk is necessary, so we must extend trust if the relationship is going to gain ground and be proven trustworthy. If trust is broken, that’s another story. Trust can be rebuilt, but it’s often a long and weary road.
4. Conversation Rather Than a Debate
Connected to the previous question of whether trust is first extended or built over time, we also acknowledge that trust in general is eroding in current culture. That truth can’t be ignored because it seeps into our minds and behavior.
