As a pastor who regularly performs weddings, I can tell that some couples are more likely to divorce than others.
It’s not most evident in pre-marital counseling or private comments made before the service. I can’t see it as the vows are said or rings exchanged. It’s not even in the kiss.
As a pastor, I can predict the likelihood of divorce based on how the wedding cake is exchanged.
I’ve been performing wedding ceremonies since I was 18. One of the first ceremonies I performed was pretty routine. Everything went without a hitch until it came time for the cake exchange.
What began as a playful moment turned ugly. He pushed it into her face; she pushed it harder into his; and he forced her to the ground. The crowd laughed; I was shocked; and a few weeks later they were divorced.
So began my interest in watching how the traditional exchange of wedding cake is played out. (See: The Number One Cause of Divorce)
The wedding cake moment gives a glimpse into the relationship in a way that few other events can.
The couple is nervous because of the occasion and crowd—nerves often exploit the worst of us.
The cake comes at the end of a long experience, so any pretending that has been taking place is less likely to occur as time goes on.
The moment requires the couple to do something that is not a normal activity.
All of these circumstances create a unique moment to answer one question: Which is more important, the relationship or one spouse’s reputation?
While most cake exchanges are cute, playful, gentle and respectful, some of them get ugly.
Here are the signs of a marriage in trouble based on the cake exchange: