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How to Predict Divorce (Hint: It Involves the Wedding Cake)

signs of divorce

As a pastor who regularly performs weddings, I can see signs of divorce that tell me some couples are more likely to divorce than others.

It’s not most evident in pre-marital counseling or private comments made before the service. I can’t see it as the vows are said or rings exchanged. It’s not even in the kiss.

As a pastor, I can predict the likelihood of divorce based on how the wedding cake is exchanged.

I’ve been performing wedding ceremonies since I was 18. One of the first ceremonies I performed was pretty routine. Everything went without a hitch until it came time for the cake exchange.

What began as a playful moment turned ugly. He pushed it into her face; she pushed it harder into his; and he forced her to the ground. The crowd laughed; I was shocked; and a few weeks later they were divorced.

So began my interest in watching how the traditional exchange of wedding cake is played out. (See: The Number One Cause of Divorce)

Why the Cake Exchange Shows Signs of Divorce

The wedding cake moment gives a glimpse into the relationship in a way that few other events can.

The couple is nervous because of the occasion and crowd—nerves often exploit the worst of us.

The cake comes at the end of a long experience, so any pretending that has been taking place is less likely to occur as time goes on.

The moment requires the couple to do something that is not a normal activity.

All of these circumstances create a unique moment to answer one question: Which is more important, the relationship or one spouse’s reputation?

While most cake exchanges are cute, playful, gentle and respectful, some of them get ugly.

Here are the signs of divorce based on the cake exchange:

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Kevin A. Thompson is Lead Pastor of Community Bible Church, a multi-site church in Fort Smith, AR. He currently writes a daily blog focusing on leadership, marriage, and parenting (specifically parenting a child with special needs). Kevin is the author of Friends, Partners & Lovers and the forthcoming sequel Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples who Laugh, Love, and Last. Along with his wife, Kevin is co-owner of JThompsonMMC, a full service media and marketing company based in Fort Smith. He is a graduate of Beeson Divinity School of Samford University and Oklahoma Baptist University.