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10 Ways to Increase Intimacy in Marriage

Here’s a guide to help you pray for your marriage.

4. This one is a close cousin to prayer—ask God to help you discern where you fall short in intimacy.

Psalm 139:23 says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!” Ask God to search you and help you know what’s going on internally to help you grow in intimacy. This is usually more challenging for the men out there. When you’re one flesh with your spouse, you don’t need to fear being open about what you’re learning.

5. Create a safe place for more intimate and personal conversations.

This means you’re probably not seeking emotional intimacy in front of your TV, in a crowded Starbucks or with a phone in your hand.

Can you and your spouse talk about sexual intimacy? I know this can be a challenge for couples. I wrote this post a few years back to help couples communicate about intimacy in marriage.

6. Find a rhythm.

Do all the above on a regular basis—daily conversation, weekly dinner dates and annual getaways. If you’re only emotionally intimate once a year or even just monthly, you’re not going to grow in your marriage. Ted Cunningham and his book Fun Loving You have played a big role in helping us establish some patterns in our marriage.

Here are eight reasons why you need to get away with your spouse on an annual basis (Part 1 and Part 2).

7. Be honest and authentic with your spouse.

To be intimate with your spouse means you know them, and they fully know you without fear of rejection. You feel the safety and security to be yourself with your spouse. In a world that often screams out “FAKE!” intimacy provides the opportunity to keep things real in marriage.

8. Talk with community and friends and learn from them.

What are they doing in their marriage that you can learn from? How can you spur each other on to grow in this part of your marriage (Hebrews 3:13, 10:24-25, Proverbs 13:20)?

We spend a lot of time with four other married couples. They help us grow in every part of our lives—spiritually, as parents, as an employee, as a spouse and so much more. We all need community.

9. Go to re | engage.

re|engage provides a safe place for you to grow in every aspect of your marriage. Whether you need to reconnect, reignite or resurrect your marriage, check out re|engage and find a church near you who hosts this powerful ministry.

10. Be on mission together.

Every time you and your spouse do something to serve others, be scared together or push yourselves into a position of dependence, you get the opportunity to grow in emotional intimacy.

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Follower of Jesus, hubby to @boymomkk, daddy to 4 awesome boys, Marriage pastor Watermark Community Church, blogger/writer, http://www.scottkedersha.com