There’s a story behind the story: Sometimes the group is unaware when an issue is personal. A theoretical conversation takes a turn and someone gets defensive. Words are exchanged and the group leader sits back and wonders, “How did we get here?” In this case, it is helpful to ask, “What is the story behind the story?” What happened outside of this room that so affected these group members that a conversation erupted into a conflict? When we have enough trust and strong relationships we can ask these important questions.
Rank ordered beliefs: Sometimes a belief is too high on a priority list. Suddenly, a difference of opinion turns into a divide of community. Seldom will group members divide over a difference in favorite sports teams. But when we start discussing politics and current events things can take a turn. Paul had important words for a divided church needing to re-prioritize beliefs.
In his letter to the Ephesian church, Paul writes, “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all” (Ephesians 4:1-6 NIV).
We must not allow our inevitable differences to overshadow the unity we have in Christ. Even and especially when they are personal and pressing. How we handle them will define our community.
Small groups that are “completely humble and gentle” will find their common call together. What they share will be far more meaningful than their differences.
This article on disruptions of community originally appeared here, and is used by permission.
