Can Faithful Christians Agree to Disagree on Sexuality?

For both Christians and the culture around us, the last decade has been filled with disagreement over a range of social, political, and moral issues. Simply mentioning “racial justice,” “election fraud,” or “IVF” might spark tense feelings. Amid such tensions, sometimes someone will try offering a sort of truce.

“Let’s just agree to disagree,” is the language that is often used.

At first, “agree to disagree” sounds like a solid solution, promoting peace and mutual respect. Maybe it brings peace at the table at family dinner or a holiday gathering. For Christians, it might have its place for certain themes and times (such as on matters of eschatology or expository versus topical preaching).

After my article mentioning James KA Smith and Fuller Seminary’s recent statements on sexuality, some asked, “Can’t we just agree to disagree?” You also may have already experienced the pressure to affirm revisionist views of sexuality—or at least concede it is not a core issue.

Of course, conversations around sexual orientation and gender identity are no longer distant “issues.” They are often deeply personal. Our friends, family members, and fellow churchgoers often personally struggle. But they then also live in a world that not only affirms a diverse array of sexual identities and practices but expects that loving people must do the same.

Yet despite the tension and the pressure, we cannot both affirm and reject the biblical witness and the history of Christian teaching on sexuality and gender.

Now, my intent is not to address all the nuances of gender and sexuality in this article, nor to question the sincerity of those with whom we disagree. And my views on these questions are not secret—I have been written about biblical orthodoxy on these issues in places like USAToday. Yet, I also believe we can—and we must—love those with whom we disagree. In cases like this, clarity and compassion are not enemies.

In fact, whereas compromise may seem nice, clarity is kindness.

So let me explain briefly why Christians committed to biblical orthodoxy uphold a traditional view of sexuality, and why these convictions are not in the category of matters over which we can simply “agree to disagree.”

Adiaphora?

In Romans 14, Paul addresses what he calls “disputable matters,” and although the Greek word adiaphora is not used in the biblical text, the idea of adiaphora flows from this text. In more recent usage, adiaphora refers to areas where Christians may differ without breaking fellowship—issues not essential to the gospel. Examples might include the timing of Christ’s return or specific spiritual gifts. Paul encourages believers to avoid creating division over disputable matters (focused on behaviors in the text), emphasizing humility and harmony to preserve the unity of the Church as a witness to an onlooking world. In more recent usage, adiaphora has often been used to describe non-essential theological beliefs as well.

Even more recently, some have sought to broaden the use of adiaphora, with a few now arguing that human sexuality falls into this category. They consider it a disputable matter where faithful Christians can simply hold different views and continue in unity.

But placing sexuality in the adiaphora category is theologically problematic, biblically inaccurate, and historically naïve.

For all the ways Christians have disagreed, they have been unanimous for two-thousand years about same-sex sexual behavior. Evangelicals have joined the historic Christian witness, rejecting the position that marriage and sexuality are adiaphora. Instead, we believe that marriage and sexuality are central to the biblical witness and the gospel itself. And the gospel is essential for unity.