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Teens and Church: Is It Worth the Battle?

Watch for Substitutes

Being in church actually fulfills a deep need and longing that we have to be in community. God created us for that very thing in His image of perfect community in the Trinity. So, if church isn’t a place where that need for community is being met, teens will likely substitute with something else.

A recent article in the Washington Post about Millenials leaving church (not Gen Z, mind you, but still addressing the church attendance issue) states “Some of us are turning to convenient, low-commitment substitutes for faith and fellowship: astrology, the easy “spiritualism” of yoga and self-care, posting away on Twitter and playing more games..Here’s what really worries me: Few of these activities are as geared toward building deep relationships and communal support as the religious traditions the millennials are leaving behind. Actively participating in a congregation means embedding oneself in a community. This involves you in the lives of others and the other way around — their joys and sadnesses, connections and expectations. By leaving religion, we’re shrugging off the ties that bind, not just loosening them temporarily.”

This should be a wake up call for us as parents and for many of us who are in fact Millenials. If we see that our sense of community or our teen’s sense of community is coming from shallow substitutes, there’s a bigger thing going on that just missing a church service.

Community is key to connection; that is what the body of Christ is called to be for one another and for the world. 

This is where we have landed in our home. And I realize, that other parents end up in another place. Perhaps you have been blessed with a child who never questions the need to go to church or expresses a desire to not attend regularly. Perhaps every single Sunday is a struggle and you have grown weary and your heart is heavy.  It is not an “easy answer” issue with a cookie cutter solution.

But I do know this: God cares immeasurably more for your child (and my child) than you (or I) do and He is not the kind to let sheep run wild without a caring Shepherd to guide them to the fold. Whether their head, heart and body are in the pew or not, He is with them and we can entrust our budding adult to His hands.

I’d love to hear from you; what has your experience with teenagers and church been and how have you parented them in grace and love when it comes to church attendance?

This article originally appeared here.

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Christina is wife of Pastor Luke and mom to Hannah, Naomi, and Caleb. She has been serving in ministry since 2010, first as a director of children's ministry and now as a family minister near Lexington, KY.