I mean, you just can’t. Developmentally, kids aren’t ready to be in a worship service. They aren’t going to get anything out of it and they will just be a distraction to the adults. Besides, they have their own classes that are geared toward their age that are a lot more fun and they get to be with their peers.
Oh, wait….that’s actually not what I meant. But this is exactly what I have heard many people say. And frankly, they have a point. Not because these reasons are correct but because most worship services in America are geared toward one target audience, one that falls somewhere between 25 and 65, and the outliers, those older than 65 and those younger than 25, are left on the fringes. In that sense, those who believe kids shouldn’t be in worship service for the reasons above have some ground to stand on.
But in reality, there’s a fundamental understanding of church, community and culture that is missed in this approach.
If “putting kids in” a worship service means simply placing their bodies in a pew and expecting them to sit for an hour and then being confused when they are bored, or want to talk, or wiggle too much, or (fill in the blank), then we’ve missed what it means to welcome children in worship.
Developmentally, children aren’t ready to sit for an hour without engagement. Children need a “re-set” about every 10-15 minutes to regain their attention. Changing positions (like standing to sing or going to the altar), hearing their name called (like having the pastor say, “Kids, listen up, this is for you”), being given something tactile to work with (like sermon notes or coloring sheets or even busy bags with quiet activities), or just having the chance to change their focus for just a few minutes.
Actually studies show that “when any human sits for longer than about 20 minutes, the physiology of the brain and body changes, robbing the brain of needed oxygen and glucose, or brain fuel. The brain essentially just falls asleep when we sit for too long. Movement and activity stimulate the neurons that fire in the brain. When we sit, those neurons aren’t firing.” (Source).
Children are not adults, but for some reason, when it comes to church, we expect them to be. We expect that what they “get out” of the service should be the same as what we as adults get out of the service. So we figure, if they can’t understand the sermon and don’t know how to sing the songs and really don’t get what’s going on with communion or prayer, then they aren’t getting anything out of being in church.
But I would offer that since kids are not adults, they get other things out of being in a worship service.
For one, they get to see. They get to see that they are part of something much bigger than themselves and their peers.
Second, they get to be seen. Adults who don’t volunteer in children’s ministry rarely if ever get to see and interact with children and youth who are consistently separated from the congregation.
Third, they get to experience church. Even if they don’t “understand” it all, they get to have the opportunity to experience worship and liturgy and sacraments and Scripture like the church has for centuries (more on this here).
Because children learn through play, through movement and through repetition, it is highly likely that they will in fact play, move and repeat things throughout the service and yes, that can be distracting.