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Children’s Ministry Leadership Lessons: 5 Must-Know Insights

2.  Being a Children’s Pastor Is Not Primarily About the Kids.

Let me qualify: Our end-goals are ultimately about the spiritual formation of children. But what I do as a Children’s Pastor to meet those goals should be primarily adult-focused. Specifically, my role as a church leader is to equip others: “Their [church leaders’] responsibility is to equip God’s people to do His work and build up the Church, the Body of Christ” (Ephesians 4:12).

I’ve been blessed to lead children’s ministries in churches ranging from 250 to 7,000 members, in many different environments. But in every place, my job is to equip others to do the work of the ministry. Ephesians says so.

Our tendency, however, is to get caught up in the minors and forget about the majors. We worry about curriculum and resources and program and facilities. These are all non-negotiables but not the most important elements for my focus. (And, yes, the smaller the church, the harder it is to remain focused on the important things.)

Aside from growing myself as a spiritual leader, my most important responsibility is to equip others to do the work of ministry. In my opinion, that sets forth two more children’s ministry leadership lessons:

  1. Developing a team around you (staff and/or core leaders). Your ministry will grow only to the level that you and your team can take it.
  2. Equipping parents to disciple their children. Spiritual formation of kids will happen only to the extent of their parents’ investment in that process.

So I need to daily ask:

  • What have I done today to grow myself as the leader of this ministry?
  • Who and how have I equipped someone else today to do this work?
  • What can I equip someone else to do so I’m focused on what only I can do?
  • How is our ministry intentionally designed to partner with parents in equipping them to disciple their own children?

3.  Ministry Happens Best in the Context of Relationships.

Honestly, this of one of those children’s ministry leadership lessons that has been rather difficult to apply. That’s because I’m really not a “relational” type of person. I’m a shy introvert who finds it much easier to focus on programs, resources, or whatever else I can find to keep me from talking with someone! At least that’s my natural tendency.

But that approach won’t go very far in building my ministry. I need to work through relationships. As the leader, it’s critical that I have strong relationships in order to invest in and equip other leaders.

That’s what Jesus did. Over and over, Jesus simply spends time with the disciples. He knew them inside and out. He spoke to their strengths and weaknesses. Jesus taught them in small groups and individually. He challenged them, comforted them, prayed for them. Jesus ministered to them, and they, in turn, changed the world.

The primary avenue was relationship. And it’s still the primary way we impact people. Now I try to remember these children’s ministry leadership lessons as I carry out my ministry:

  • Relationships are important and must be cultivated on every level—with kids, parents, volunteers, staff. I need to think relationally with each.
  • When I think and act primarily on a relational level, everything I do has significantly more impact. People respond to relationships.
  • Others, like me, may not always be comfortable with the “relational” approach. But we all desire it and respond to it. I need to find ways to connect relationally, even when it’s difficult.
  • I must view everything through a relational lens. Planning, evaluating, programming, implementation, events, curriculum selection, environment development. How does it enhance and promote relationships between the people groups involved?