Passons received the message that being gay was wrong primarily from the culture of his small church and the small town in Mississippi where he lived. “Most of the men in my family didn’t know what to do with me,” he said, his father being the exception. “I love my father. He was a very gracious man, and he was always there for me.”
When Passons was in college, his father asked if he was a “homosexual” and offered to get him help if he was. Passons denied it. He explained to Custer that he sees his father’s offer as coming from a place of love.
When Passons moved to Nashville, he saw that as a fresh start and sought out on his own initiative a therapist who did conversion therapy. Passons said he was referred to a man named Mike Malloy, who has since “evolved his therapy into helping men accept themselves rather than change themselves.” They met one-on-one weekly, and Passons met with a group of men every other week for two years. However, Malloy’s program did not change him.
“And I thought, ‘Well, is it just up to me to pray it away?’” said Passons. “And so for years, that was my plan, was just to keep praying.”
He was in relationships with other men at times, but pursuing any was difficult because he was hiding that part of his life. The circumstances that led to his secret being revealed came about, said Passons, because he “started getting angry.”
“If you want to know the catalyst for why I became so careless, my bandmates were getting married,” he said. “I was in all their weddings.”
“I was getting angry that everyone was so happy for how their lives were progressing in this natural manner and celebrating the fact that they have someone that they’re going to now pledge their love to,” said Passons. “And that anger built up. It kinda snuck up on me.” So he decided to just “do my thing because nothing’s going to change.”
Michael Passons Kicked Out of Avalon
Then, at one point, Passons went to a club. Even though he kept a low profile and had a cap pulled over his face, someone at the club still recognized him. That person called his record company and reported where Passons had been. “The end was several years away,” he said, “but that started the snowball of me now being scrutinized by my record company, my management, and my group mates because now people have confirmed suspicions.”
Custer seemed to be on the verge of suggesting that half the club was probably full of closeted gay men in CCM. “That is a whole nother conversation you’re gonna have to turn the mics off for,” Passons said. “I could burn this industry to the ground with the people that I know who went places with their caps down, you know, and are even worse. But that doesn’t do any good for me to divulge any of that. That’s their journey.”
“It made me angry too that all you had to do in this town was wear a wedding ring, and everyone would stay off your back, no matter how obvious it was that you may be gay,” Passons continued. “If you’re wearing a wedding ring, no questions asked. I’m like, ‘Ok, well, I am not going to bring a woman into this smokescreen. I’m not going to do that.’”
