Believers who want to help can express love, pray, say we’re sorry about what the person experienced, and not reject them. “The last thing we need to do is start criticizing them personally,” McDowell told author Alisa Childers in an interview last October, yet that’s what tends to happen on social media.
Instead, he says, “Let’s err on the side of leading with compassion and grace in this person’s life.” When we see people questioning their faith, we should communicate, “I love you, and I’m with you—no matter what happens in your story,” he says.
Sean McDowell: More Tips & Resources
The reconversion process tends to be long, McDowell points out, and if fallen believers do return to Christianity, they often choose a different denomination or expression (usually one focusing on grace or one that’s more relational).
For Christians without a Ph.D. in theology who feel intimidated or ill-equipped to tackle doubters’ questions, he recommends offering to read, learn and talk together. Watching debates between Christians and atheists is another helpful resource, McDowell says, as is his website, which regularly posts answers to tough queries. The apologist has added TikTok to his extensive social media presence in an effort to be “where kids are at.”
For Christians wrestling with their own faith, McDowell recommends reading Childers’ book Another Gospel? and confiding in someone they trust. Going on the faith-examination journey alone can be a “disaster,” he warns, so finding a trusted mentor is key.
Mentors, in turn, need to show that they’re not threatened by people’s questions but welcome the opportunity to grow deeper and relationally in their faith. “Now you know it matters,” McDowell says, “so just tell that person, ‘Gosh, I wish I knew more, but I’m going to read and think with you and help you through this.” And, most importantly, “I love you no matter what.”
