Do church leaders have to trust other people unconditionally? While some might think such a posture is a biblical one, ministry leader Lysa TerKeurst argues this type of trust is not only unwise but also not what God is asking of his followers.
“There is this pressure on Christians, and maybe even especially Christian leaders, to always believe the best about other people,” TerKeurst shared in an interview on “The Stetzer ChurchLeaders Podcast.” “It’s almost like, okay, if you love God, then you have to trust unconditionally. And I make a case in the book that not only is that not smart to do, but it’s not biblical either.”
TerKeurst joined Dr. Ed Stetzer and Daniel Yang to talk about her new book, released on Oct. 8, “I Want to Trust You, but I Don’t: Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment.”
You can watch the full interview with Lysa TerKeurst below.
Lysa TerKeurst: We All Have ‘Trust Issues’
Lysa TerKeurst is president and chief visionary officer of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the author of several New York Times bestsellers, including “Good Boundaries and Goodbyes,” “Forgiving What You Can’t Forget,” and “It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way.”
TerKeurst has survived significant betrayal in her own life, and her new book conveys key lessons on trust based on Scripture and learned in the fires of her own experience. Her insights about trust are relevant to any believer and are particularly applicable to church leaders. “I want to say to any pastor or ministry leader out there, I get it,” said TerKeurst. “And of course, you’re struggling with trust. Of course.”
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TerKeurst encouraged church leaders to recognize that challenges in the area of trust are part of being human. “We all have trust issues,” she said, noting that the phrase “trust issues” has negative connotations. “Let’s just level the playing field and just say, this is something that’s common to us all and not weaponize that phraseology as if there’s something wrong with this.”
All people struggle with trust to some extent, but when people step into positions of leadership in the church, there is no question they are going to face difficulties in that area.
“We have to understand that as we step into leadership, we’re kind of signing up for this,” TerKeurst said. “So the stability can’t be in making sure to always attract the perfect congregation or always attract the perfect employees.”
“The real goal here,” she added, “has to be to create an inner stability, recognizing our trust is going to get broken, but it shouldn’t break us in the process.”
TerKeurst defined trust as “built time plus believable behavior.” Put another way, she said, “In order to have trust in a relationship, you have to have safety and connection. So trust is really the oxygen of all human relationships.”
