The Love Always website says that De La Mora “was once named one of the world’s most famous porn stars” but her time in the industry was full of her “deepest, darkest days of despair, leading her to survive by way of drugs, alcohol, and ultimately, failed attempts of suicide.” Ray referred to De La Mora as a mentor, saying, “Thank you so much for mentoring me and just helping me, just being such an amazing friend during this process.”
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Ray described her childhood to De La Mora and explained how her wounds left her vulnerable to getting involved in creating adult content on OnlyFans. She had been working at a job where she couldn’t make ends meet when she decided to try OnlyFans at the suggestion of someone who DMed her.
During her first month on OnlyFans, she made $87,000. So Ray quit her job and began devoting her time exclusively to making pornographic content. At first, she found the experience empowering because of the money and because she got to be her own boss.
“It feels good,” she said, “but at the end of the day, I just kept selling more and more and more of myself to my fans.”
“It feels very empowering for a temporary season. And that’s why, when women come out and they’re like, ‘Oh, this is empowering,’ well, yeah, deception says that it is empowering for a short period of time,” said Ray, “until things kind of change, and then you start feeling just more empty. And all of a sudden, the power that you thought you have…you feel powerless.”
Ray described participating in “content houses,” where OnlyFans creators would meet for days at a time and create content with one another. Ray said it was exhausting. She was constantly drinking and doing drugs to make it through creating pornographic content, including content with other women, even though she was not gay.
One time she took too many mushrooms, “and I was overwhelmed with fear, I just remember I was hiding under a table in fear,” said Ray. “I don’t know what I was scared of, but I felt so scared and alone. And like everybody around you is also messed up, you know, on drugs or alcohol. So they’re not comforting you. They’re freaking out too.”
“I always try to tell people the reality of pornography is that it’s a soul-sucking industry,” said De La Mora. “And what people don’t realize is that when you are performing, the Bible teaches us the wages of sin is death…and that sex is the one sin that is the sin against your own body. And so the weight of that sin is traumatic.”
Ray voiced shock about learning how many people in church use porn. “When I came to find out that, like 70% of people in church watch porn, I’m like, where’s the self-control?” she asked. “Aren’t we supposed to be like Christ? You know, aren’t we supposed to be setting those examples?”
