He noted that, depending on the wound, scars can take varying lengths of time to heal. The healing might take years, but it also can take months. “Scars can form very quickly,” Nieuwhof said. “Here’s the caveat though…if all your scar stories are from 20 years ago, it creates a different kind of problem.”
Only talking about scars from a long time ago gives people the impression that pastors have no current problems. “So, you want to mix in some scars that are a little bit fresher,” said Nieuwhof. “You know, use the criteria I’ve talked about, but you might want to think about talking about a scab as well.”
The point is not to try to impress people but “to remind people that you’re still in the struggle with them.”
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“Scars are where your deepest credibility lives. They’re proof that God heals, that growth is possible, that the journey continues, and that you too as a leader are a work in progress,” Nieuwhof said. “You’re the kind of leader people can trust, follow, and learn from.”
“And then once you get a scar, well, now you’ve got a story to tell,” he said. “And you can tell it safely with the view of really helping the people process their own wounds and their own scabs.”
