What does it do to a wife when her husband watches porn? Every week, I receive numerous messages from wives who have discovered that their husbands are looking at porn, and it’s heart-breaking. Porn can wreck a marriage. I know this pain, because I, too, have walked through it in my own marriage.
Finding Out My Husband Watches Porn
Early in our marriage, I logged into our computer and discovered that Dave had been looking at porn. I couldn’t believe what I saw. My heart was beating out of my chest, and I seriously thought that somebody had broken into our home and surfed the web for porn. Not Dave. Not my Dave. We had a great marriage—at least I thought we did.
All I could think was,
How could he do this to me? To us?
Am I not enough for him? Am I not pretty/skinny/sexy enough?
Doesn’t he know this is wrong?
Didn’t he know this would hurt me?
I took an hour or so to process what I eventually realized and accepted as the truth: Dave had been looking at porn for awhile. He had a porn addiction. My Dave. My husband. My hero.
I knew I had to address it. I called him at work and simply asked if he had something to tell me. He immediately confessed to the porn. It was like he’d been waiting for me to find out. He told me that he was glad it was out in the open now, and he knew it was wrong.
I would love to tell you that the days that followed were easy, but they weren’t. I was so hurt. I felt ugly and unwanted. I could tell that Dave felt horrible about it. He wanted to stop doing this a long time ago, but he said he just couldn’t stop through his own willpower.
As a Christian, he understood that he was lusting after the women in those images. He knew what Jesus stated so clearly in the Bible, that to lust at a woman is committing adultery in your heart. It goes directly against our marriage vows.
Dave knew this, and yet, he struggled with it. For more on Dave’s story, please read his blog post below.
Husbands, I share this with you, not to point fingers or make you feel bad. I share this because I want you to know what your porn habit does to your wife.
