Picture this: Jesus, the ultimate influencer drops the hottest commandment of the season—deny yourself. It’s so cutting-edge, even hipsters wouldn’t touch it. I mean, who denies themselves anything these days? It’s both countercultural and vastly ignored by many who take the name Christian. Yet it’s straight from the Lord himself (check Matthew 16:24, Mark 8:34, Luke 9:23).
Jesus was the OG self-denier. Move over, Instagram influencers! He made himself nothing, like negative followers on a social media detox, taking on the humble role of a servant in human form (Philippians 2:7, yes, it’s a paraphrase). This guy could’ve been sipping divine smoothies on a heavenly hammock. But instead he set aside his rights and grabbed a servant’s bowl and towel, giving his disciples’ feet a spa day (John 13:3-5).
And get this, he knew the cross was coming—body broken, blood spilled, the most excruciating torture. He didn’t pull a divine power move to avoid it; he willingly took our sinful mess on himself. He went to the cross that should have been ours, the ultimate act of self-denial. When he said, “Deny yourself,” he knew (and lived) exactly what he was asking us to do.
But we don’t like denying ourselves. When others offend and let us down, we feel the pressure to prioritize self. Our ambition. Our power. Our position. I spoke recently with someone about a man who prioritized the business he owned even over is own parents, family, and kids. There’s a cost to those kind of priorities. When we don’t deny ourselves, our relationships become strained, even broken. We end up missing opportunities for personal growth. And it leads to a lack of empathy, compassion, and connection with God and others.
Still, it’s a fairly churchy phrase: deny yourself. What exactly does that look like? How do we deny ourselves? We’re talking about more than just leaving that last slice of pizza laying there. Denying self includes putting others first, giving time and skills to help others without expecting anything in return, generously giving to those in need, humbly acknowledging limitations and mistakes, and resisting temptation (AKA self-discipline). If you read that last line without feeling convicted, slow down and read it again. Seriously. Right now. “The Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and [catch this…] self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7). We like the parts about power and love. We are interested in having more strength and experiencing the love of God. But self-discipline? Self-denial? Ouch!
Unfortunately, despite the fact that I was raised by Christian parents, remained actively involved in an excellent church, and even went to a Bible college, I was still underprepared to act on Jesus’ instruction to deny myself. I’m not pointing the blame on anyone other than myself, but simply recognizing the reality: Neither college nor seminary taught me about denying myself. Were you taught about it? I didn’t even learn about it as an assistant pastor, associate pastor, or lead pastor. It’s under-addressed for many of us, even pastors. So I’m guessing it might be under-addressed in your life too.
What are we going to do about that? There’s a method of self-denial taught in God’s Word that was mostly omitted from sermons, curriculum, and private school education (or, to be fair, if it was there, I was too distracted by memes and autocorrect failures to notice the whole self-denial thing). This method we will discuss here is extremely effective toward our obedience to deny ourselves. Yet it remained absent, left among the things unsaid in Church or Christian school. What is this method of self-denial?
Fasting.
Gulp! No, wait! Don’t gulp. (Swallowing is like anti-fasting, I think. Does spit count?)
When was the last time you preached (or were preached to) about fasting? How long ago was it the main topic of a lesson you presented or received? If you’re anything like me, it has been a while (if ever).
Fasting means to stop eating for a period of time.1
People fast for a variety of reasons:
- Sometimes it’s related to a New Year’s resolution to lose weight.
- Occasionally whatever mom made for supper is terrible.
- People fast for surgery prep or prescribed treatment.
- Some desire to reduce their carbon footprint or promote PETA.
- And many do it for spiritual reasons, the focus of this article, specifically related to self-denial.
It’s common for people to fast and pray when in crisis. We saw it happen at 9/11 and again during the global pandemic. But we don’t need to wait for a catastrophe or coronapocalypse. We really shouldn’t wait. The benefits of fasting are available to those who practice it. Even today.
Around the world fasting is practiced by Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, agnostics, and even atheists. Catholics fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, giving opportunity to reflect on the price Jesus paid for our sin. Many Catholics (and some Protestants) fast during the 40 days leading up to Easter (a season called Lent). But for those of us who aren’t Catholics, fasting resides in the category of things we wish someone could explain a little bit better. What’s up with this whole fasting thing?
Since it wouldn’t be right for me to armchair quarterback the topic of self-denial and fasting, let me share with you a little about my personal practice of fasting. In the non-spiritual realm (if there is such a thing), I have practiced intermittent fasting as a strategy for weight loss (I’m in shape… round is a shape) and for surgery prep. But when it comes to the spiritual activity, my most frequent practice has been threefold:
- Annually on Good Friday, I fast to honor the death of my Lord, allowing my small discomfort to direct my attention to his excruciating suffering.
- To further empathize with those who don’t have food, I’ve practiced fasting, hoping to better understand and thereby be prompted to demonstrate genuine compassion to them.
- And when making a major decision, such as a job-change, I’ve fasted to seek guidance through prayer.
1 Sure, I’m aware that people “fast” from things other than food—such as electronics, entertainment, social media, even sex. Such a fast can be quite helpful. But for this article, I’m specifically focusing on abstaining from food. Think about the word breakfast. We call this meal breakfast because the first meal of the day breaks our overnight fast from yesterday’s supper (or midnight snack).
