Lonely at the Top: Confronting the Isolation Faced by Church Leaders

What about the congregation? It’s challenging to find genuine relationships within your congregation. It’s possible but not easy. After all, those attending your church see you as their spiritual leader. This is a challenging space for you to bring your vulnerable conversations.

Or a small group? You’re probably in a small group of some sort—or maybe you’re not. For me, a small group was always just another two hours of work. See above.

Maybe other local pastors? Other pastors in your community can offer some support. Finding a mutually beneficial support system from pastors down the street is rare.

Could staff members or key volunteers help? Not really. Sure, you can have friendships with these people, but you’re still their leader, meaning there will (should) be some healthy relational separation.

On top of all this, pastors need more than friendship. Friends listen and love, but they can’t always offer solutions or leverage their experience as mentors. A listening ear is great, but pastors and church leaders need more.

Bottom Line: You Need People Who Are for You Who Don’t Need or Expect Anything From You.

I’m working on a solution FOR YOU right now.

I’ve served pastors and churches as a consultant and coach for nearly three years. I’ve noticed something similar in every church and with every pastor. I bet this is true for you, too.

1. You have a deep desire to see your church achieve its mission.
2. You want to see your church better reach your community and grow disciples.
3. You aren’t satisfied with every aspect of your ministry model.
4. You have ongoing people challenges.
5. You have engagement and participation challenges.
6. AND… you need someone who genuinely cares about you, your staff, your church, and your community to help.

When I started consulting and coaching church leaders, I knew I would provide benefits for the first five issues. I had no idea that I’d become a pastor to pastors. I should have seen this coming, though. When I was in the role, that’s what I needed the most, too. I read books, attended conferences, and studied ministry models, but I didn’t realize my greatest need was a mentor.

I’m working on something BIG right now that may help fill this gap for you.

Every pastor needs 1) Coaching, 2) Community, and 3) Helpful content.

In the meantime, here are a few statements to consider. Answer using a 1 to 10 scale, with 10 being “Strongly Agree.”

1. I feel great about my relational life.
2. I never feel isolated or lonely.
3. I’m receiving support from helpful mentors or coaches.
4. Most people in my life want something FOR me, not FROM me.
5. I’ll remain in ministry for the next five years.
6. I love my church and congregation.
7. I have people who help me think, process, and create.
8. I have the time to work on problems.

How’d you score? Send me a quick email and let me know which question offers your greatest opportunity. 

This article originally appeared here and is used by permission.