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5 Things You Must LOSE to GAIN Influence

Rewind: in·flu·ence: [in-floo-uh-ns] noun, verb – the capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others: He used influence to get the contract.

Influence takes many forms—in leadership and work, with family, through social media.

In order to increase in influence, you are going to have to give things up! Star athletes don’t just “happen to” do well. In a similar way, gaining influence doesn’t happen on accident.

Here are 5 Things You Must LOSE to GAIN Influence:

1. Security.

If you truly want to step out and influence others, you are going to have to take some risks: risk of failure, of being hurt by someone else, risk of security.

You can’t steal second with your foot on first base! You must take risks when you open up your life to others. You’ve got to be willing to give up security.

2. Self.

“If your ambition ends with you, your ambition will end you.” Ed Young.

If gaining influence with others is all about you, you are in for a fall at some point. People sniff out self-righteousness like the dirty diaper I just changed from my newborn. Stanky! Ask questions like, “How can I help others?” or, “How can I add value to another life?”

3. Answers.

You can’t always have them. Sometimes people need questions. Sometimes they need to be challenged to think. Sometimes they need to give you feedback. They need to know you don’t think you have all the answers.

“Successful people ask better questions, as a result they get better answers.” Tony Robbins

4. Caring.

Not about what the right people think (those you are truly influencing). You need to know what these people think. To GAIN influence, you must learn to give up caring what the haters think.

“Never worry about haters. Haters always hate those who are loved.” from @RevRunWisdom.

Haters are the negative, overly critical voices that will try to wear you down. Every party has a pooper, right? Don’t waste your time listening to haters.

5. Lines.

You must be willing to lose the lines of yesterday to reach your potential today! Think outside the box, outside the lines. Dare to be different. Be who you were created to be, outside of the lines that culture has set for you. Write Your Own Song In Life!

Action Step: Try to “lose” one of these five things this week.

Write it out so you can remember, and write down three things you will do to help. Ex: I will ask more questions this week than provide answers with those I lead. To do this I will: a.) Make a note of every time I give an answer instead of ask a question; b.) ask someone to hold me accountable; c.) carry five coins in my left pocket this week and move one to my right pocket every time I ask a question instead of provide an answer.

Are any of these tough for you to give up? Why are they so difficult? What are some others things we must LOSE to GAIN Influence? Love to hear your thoughts in the comments below! 

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Chad Missildine is an executive coach, consultant and speaker serving business, government and non-profit leaders. Chad was a leader and pastor at Life.Church for 11+ years, coaching and training hundreds of Life.Church pastors and business leaders at 33+ locations. He served on the Life.Church Central leadership team, helping to shape culture and stewardship as the Central Director of Generosity. Chad also provided coaching and consulting for many churches and non-profits from around the globe. He manages a multi-million dollar real estate company and mentors entrepreneurs. You can connect with Chad at chadmissildine.com.