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9 Secrets Your Pastor’s Wife Won’t Say Out Loud

4. “It is OK and welcomed to have conversations with me about things that do not pertain to church, or even Jesus. There I said it!”

They have a variety of interests. Believe it or not, many pastor’s wives went to college and had full-time careers before becoming “Mrs. Pastor’s Wife.” They have hobbies, likes and dislikes, and though they often serve beside their husband, they are individuals with their own unique gifts. Do not make the mistake of assuming your pastor’s wife has the same personality as her husband. One wife shared that as newly weds when they announced their engagement, people regularly commented on how good of a singer she must be (because her husband-to-be was a music minister). When she shared that she sounded more like a dying cat than an elegant song bird, the shock on their faces was evident.

5. “Sundays are sometimes my least favorite day. Wait—am I allowed to say that?”

Sundays are hard. And long. And there is no rest. To the pastor’s wife, Sunday means an early morning of rushing around to have the family ready in their “Sunday Best.” Although you may not see your pastor’s wife on the platform, rest assured, Sunday is equally tiring for most (all) of them.

6. “It’s hard to not harbor resentment or to allow your flesh to lash out at members who openly criticize his ministry.”

They hate church criticism more then anything. It’s hurtful, offensive and, yes, it’s very hard not to take it personally. It is one of the most damaging things they witness regularly inside the church, whether it be through emails, social media or gossip. They wish people understood how serious God’s word speaks on the danger and power of our words. And how much it injures the pastor’s family.