- “I have the spiritual gift of extortion.”
Another Southern Baptist.
- “Preacher, I have some moonshine for your cough. Feel free to stop by the house.”
That’s one pastoral visit he made that week.
- “Will you play George Jones songs in the service today?”
I’m sorry, we’re doing all Bee Gees today.”
- “The guitars sound like two cats mating.”
I don’t think that’s a compliment.
- “I want you to know if this church fails, it’s not your fault.”
Gotta love those church members with the gift of encouragement.
- To the pastor in the men’s restroom: “So, pastors have to go too, huh?”
And what did you think before this moment?
- “Pastor, I have some extra Vicodin. Would you like some?”
Probably not, but thank you for thinking of him.
- “Pastor, pray for me. I’m going to Vegas.”
I bet double or nothing he didn’t pray for her.
Yes, church members say the darnedest things. Do you have any to add?
This article originally appeared here.