Seven years ago when my husband first donned the title Pastor and I was the new pastor’s wife, I thought I knew how to prepare to be a pastor’s wife. In my head, my responsibilities as Pastor’s Wife included the following: being on-time for church so I could sit in the front row next to him, dressing like a pastor’s wife (stylish and put together, but appropriately modest), smiling and introducing myself to every church newcomer, attending all church events and always being willing to work in the nursery. (That last one was a struggle, but I committed to the role.) But, now I realize how shallow my view of how to prepare to be a pastor’s wife truly was. As I’ve sorted through my unofficial job description, I’ve found that instead of dressing nice and being willing to change diapers, the most critical parts of my job don’t even take place on Sunday mornings.
4 Tips – How to Prepare to Be a Pastor’s Wife
1. As a New Pastor’s Wife, Change Your View of Saturdays.
One of my biggest surprises as we entered the ministry is how Saturdays changed. They used to be days of leisure and fun. Saturday nights were the pinnacle of the weekend—restful and enjoyable. Once my husband became a pastor, Saturday suddenly felt like a Monday afternoon. Crises always happen on Saturdays. Volunteers always notify you that they can’t be there the next morning—on Saturday. People inform you they’re leaving the church—on Saturday. All of this piles onto your husband’s stress in preparing a sermon that he feels confident the Lord has given him for the next morning.
In short, Saturdays can stink.
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I spent the first few years resenting that aspect of ministry. I missed Saturdays. I felt sad that while friends got together for Saturday night outings, we stayed home for my husband to do sermon prep. Saturday nights, after the kids were in bed, felt lonely. Add into that mix the reality of spiritual warfare—which seems to amp up in the pastor’s home on Saturdays—and the former “fun day” became one I dreaded each week.
Now, I’ve adjusted my thinking on how to prepare to be a pastor’s wife. I plan our fun for Fridays, my husband’s day off each week, and have shifted our week to accommodate for the stress of Saturdays. Be ready, new pastor’s wife. And, if a few months in you feel like you are the only one scrolling Facebook every Saturday night, reach out to a few other pastors’ wives. Chances are they’re in the same spot.
