Sandy was a nurse. She worked in a large hospital in the downtown area. And from time to time, this required her to work weekends. So, there were times when the pastor’s wife was not in church, but on duty at the local medical center caring for people in crisis.
The criticism was immediate. How dare the pastor’s wife not be in church every Sunday? Why, when Pastor Elrod was here, his wife was president of the missionary union. And she knew every child’s name by heart. Isn’t the pastor’s wife sort of the hospitality leader of the church? I know it’s not spelled out in the personnel manual anywhere, but isn’t that just assumed?
And then, something happened to stop the criticism.
A church leader found himself having surgery, the life-threatening kind that puts the fear of the Lord into a person. And when he looked up and saw that the nurse was his pastor’s wife, that sweet and lovely lady who often played the organ for worship, his heart jumped for joy. The comfort of her presence was immeasurable.
You’re a pastor’s wife. What will you do?
Every spouse of every minister gets asked this question. So, you may as well come up with a stock answer for it and have it ready.
“I take care of the pastor so he can take care of you.” That’s a good response. And all that is necessary.
Most people who ask that question—even the search committees—are not making demands on you, and they are definitely not trying to “start something.” This is simply their way of inquiring how you see your role in the church. So, do not over react.
Do. Not. Over. React.
Just have a simple, sweet answer ready. Say it, smile big and be quiet.
In most cases, they will be fine with that.
There was a day, and it wasn’t all that long ago, when enormous expectations were placed on the wife of the pastor. Perfect kids, dressed to the nines every Sunday, leadership in missions, and ready to bring an inspirational talk on the spur of the moment. They’re not doing that any more, to my knowledge. More and more, pastors’ wives are being allowed to find their niche and decide for themselves what the Lord has for them in that church.
Here’s a verse for you, pastor’s wife…
Not that we are sufficient to think anything of ourselves. But our sufficiency is of God. (2 Corinthians 3:5).
