6. Give people hope with comfort.
The need for comfort is met by responding to people with appropriate words and physical touch. If a person is grieving, there really are only two things to say: “I’m so sorry,” and “I love you.” Place your hand on the shoulder of a person in pain and tell that person you’re on his side.
7. Give people hope with encouragement.
The need for encouragement is met by urging people to hang in there, to persist toward the goal they so want to achieve. Send notes, phone someone, pray with someone, take someone to dinner or a movie. People are dying for someone to say, “I’m so proud of what you are doing. You make this world a better place to live in.”
8. Give people hope with respect.
The need for respect is met by honoring and regarding people as important. Do you show deference to your spouse’s opinion? Do you listen to your children? Do you respect people’s time? Do you respect people from different backgrounds and religions?
9. Give people hope with protection.
The need for protection is met when we establish harmony in relationships and show people they are free from fear or threat of harm. Are those for whom you are financially responsible secure in knowing that you will provide for them? Do you relate to people in a consistent way? Do you treat your employees the way you want to be treated? Do people know what to expect from you? Can they read you?
10. Give people hope with support.
The need for support is met when you come alongside someone and give them your complete attention. Anticipate and notice when someone is experiencing periods of stress. Are you willing to use your personal resources to help someone, if need be?
None of these 10 means you will have fewer problems in your relationships. They don’t mean you won’t have to have hard conversations or set clear boundaries or keep forgiving those who hurt you.
Real encouragement seems to always happen right smack in the middle of life’s messes. Writer Peter Scazzero is right in saying, “Jesus modeled incarnating love when He took on flesh, entered our world and walked in our shoes. His love compelled Him to cross two worlds, heaven and earth, and live among us. In order for us to love others as Jesus did, we too need to cross into other people’s worlds, enter life in their shoes, while holding on to our own world as well.”
Church father Tertullian writes in Apology that the heathens said of the believers, “See how they love one another.” Love compelled Jesus, and love remains the most compelling force in life. Cross over into someone else’s world with real love. What you have to give may be the encouragement for which they have long been hoping.
This article originally appeared in Cutting Edge magazine. Reprinted by permission.
