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What It Means to Say I’m Praying for You

praying for you

I’m praying for you.

How often do you say these words, and what does it mean to say, I’m praying for you? Especially in a small group setting, I’d like to suggest that at the heart of praying for others is the word friendship—friendship with people and friendship with God.

There’s a beautiful example of prayer and friendship in Luke 11. One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.” The disciples asked Jesus for a lesson on prayer, but many of us quit listening after the sample prayer in verses 2-4. But the Lord’s answer includes what it means to say I’m praying for you. His answer stretches all the way to verse 13.

When Jesus Explained I’m Praying for You

After Jesus provided a sample prayer he continued with seven simple words that can forever change our idea of prayer: “Suppose one of you has a friend . . .” (Luke 11: 5) Jesus moved the conversation from the content of prayer to the relationship between God and man. He calls this relationship friendship.

Some friendships stand on stick-legs; they can’t hold much weight. Every single conversation has to be measured carefully to avoid damaging the relationship. Jesus, on the other hand, presents the example of a friendship so strong that both people can say exactly what they think without any worry of ruining their bond.

The Lord’s example is a story of two men who knew each other so well they could be completely honest. One guy receives an unexpected visitor late at night and needs to provide hospitality. He goes to his friend’s house–even though it’s too late at night to drop by–and asks for extra food. His friend says, “Are you nuts? It’s way too late, come back tomorrow.” Yet the relationship is so strong that the first guy can say, “I’m not leaving until I get what I need.”

This picture illustrates the importance of persistence in prayer. And, of course, if we’re willing to say I’m praying for you, we should be persistent! But there’s something more. Jesus invites us to imagine prayer as an extension of honest, real friendship. He asks us to draw on our experience and imagine the best friendship we have, then apply that kind of security and strength to the way we talk to God.

The point of his illustration is that friendship itself is the reason we can persist. The reason we can be so bold to knock on the door at midnight is that we know our rude behavior will not sever the relationship. We can continue to ask, seek, and knock because we know the heart of the one we are bothering. He’s our friend. The kind of friend for whom the rules don’t count.

Here are 5 lessons that flow from I’m praying for you.

1. We don’t have to wait for the “proper time” to pray.

If the situation calls for it, bang on the door in the middle of the night. That’s what real friends are for.

2. The friendship door swings both ways.

The other friend is comfortable in the relationship, too. So comfortable, in fact, that the first answer might be, “Don’t bother me!” Does our picture of God allow for the possibility that I could press through the first answer?

3. Would you ever ask God to change his mind?

When my friend does answer, he will give me “as much as I need.” Friends don’t keep score. What’s yours is mine, and vice versa. The basis for his generosity is the relationship, not the rules of etiquette.I can have the boldness to keep on asking when I’m asking on behalf of someone else.

4. There’s a third party in the picture.

They are the ones who will eat the bread; they are the ones in need, the ones we are praying for. Jesus is suggesting that when we pray out of our need to bless others, God is more than generous. But how many times have I limited my prayers to my needs?

5. Finally, Jesus is unafraid to mix metaphors.

Just as the power of this imaginary scene is beginning to sink in, Jesus begins to talk about fathers, children, and the Holy Spirit (verses 11-13). Can we turn our imagination in still more directions? Prayer has even more relational truths.

If we are willing to persist in prayer, I’m praying for you can be one of the kindest things we can do for one another.

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Ray Hollenbach, a Chicagoan, writes about faith and culture. He currently lives in central Kentucky, which is filled with faith and culture. His book "Deeper Change" (and others) is available at Amazon.com