At the very foundation of existence is relationship. According to Christian belief, God, the creator of the universe, exists eternally in relationship within himself—the Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Humanity, created in God’s image, shares this inherently relational nature. We are not solitary beings; we thrive in connection with others.
Decades of scientific research support this truth, with perhaps the most compelling evidence coming from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest-running longitudinal study of human well-being. It suggests that the greatest predictor of health and happiness is living in the context of high-quality relationships. Moreover, a study by Gallup found that people who fall into the “thriving” category spend about six to nine hours per day engaging socially. These interactions span both strong ties (close friends and family) and weak ties (colleagues, acquaintances, and even strangers).
Faith + Friends + Finances: The Happiness Equation
The formula for happiness is surprisingly simple: Faith + Friends + Finances = The Good Life.
Faith
Being a part of a faith community and practicing spirituality in alignment with personal convictions correlates with better health and happiness outcomes. Faith provides a sense of purpose, moral support, and often a community of like-minded individuals who provide emotional and spiritual upliftment.
Friends
Spending six to nine hours a day interacting with others is a key indicator of happiness. Strong social ties include close friends and family, but even interactions with weak ties—like a friendly chat with a neighbor or cashier—contribute to our overall well-being. Our happiness is deeply intertwined with the quality and frequency of our social interactions, regardless of how casual or intimate they might be.
Finances
Financial stability matters—but only up to a point. Achieving a stable income of around $75,000–$80,000 in household earnings is the threshold for financial comfort, where basic needs are met, and money is no longer a stressor. While additional wealth can improve self-evaluation of one’s life, it does not necessarily equate to increased happiness. For instance, lottery winners typically return to their original level of happiness within a year of their win. Beyond financial stability, it’s about faith and friends, not more funds.
The Importance of Social Fitness
It turns out that social fitness is just as vital as physical fitness. Loneliness has been found to be twice as unhealthy as obesity. Studies indicate that individuals with strong relationships have a 50% greater chance of surviving anything that comes their way.
Warm, connected relationships are key to happiness. The quality of our relationships at age 50 can predict our health and well-being at age 80. Social connectedness during adolescence is a better predictor of adult success than any other single factor.
The Pitfalls of Affective Forecasting and Comparison
Humans often struggle with “affective forecasting”—our ability to predict what will make us happy. We might avoid talking to strangers or casual acquaintances, assuming it will be uncomfortable or awkward, but research shows that such interactions actually boost our happiness.
Conversely, comparing ourselves to others often leads to discontent. Even positive comparisons, where we judge ourselves favorably, can be a source of unhappiness. Greed, envy, and discontent can arise from this habit, creating unrealistic benchmarks that do not reflect our individual path or needs. Comparison often makes us feel “off-time,” meaning we’re not hitting expected life milestones, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
Social Fitness as a Living System
Our social life functions as a living system, dynamically affecting our minds and bodies. Honest self-reflection is a critical first step in living a good life. Relationships impact the mind, which in turn affects the body, and vice versa. Therefore, just like our muscles need exercise, our social lives also need regular “workouts” to stay fit.