6. Don’t take over responsibility.
Especially with younger teens, you may be tempted to go into problem-solving mode and basically take over. But you can’t (and shouldn’t) assume responsibility. You can advise, offer counseling, help with practical stuff, etc. But the teen must take responsibility herself. If you feel that’s not the case, focus on trying to change that.
This is different if the teen pregnancy is the result of a crime. In that case, seek professional help (for instance, from a trauma counselor) as soon as possible, all with parental permission.
7. Involve kids’ parents as soon as possible.
It’s okay to give the teen some time to gather courage to tell parents, but not more than a week. Parents are responsible for their minor children, not you. If the teen is scared to talk with her parents, offer to be present for support. But let her do the talking (or him, if the baby’s father has to tell his parents).
8. Inform the youth group.
Before telling group members, ask permission from the teen and the parents. Take time to do this the right way. Even peers can judge quickly and harshly, and the students involved need all the support they can get.
Be honest about the facts, whenever possible. (Again, if non-voluntary sex occurred, you may need to rethink your strategy. Even then, it may be best to be as honest as you can, with permission.)
Use the occasion to talk to teens about sex. That doesn’t mean you should present the pregnant teen as a bad example. But you don’t have to act like it’s okay, either. Just give the teens room to ask any and all questions they may have.
Then ask them to support their friend however they can. Stay on top of any rumors, gossip, or bad-mouthing that may occur and deal with it swiftly. It’s important to protect the teens involved as well as their families.
9. Monitor the process.
This is a crucial task. Sometimes youth workers feel that once the parents know, they’ve transferred the responsibility and can let it go. But I don’t think that’s the case, because no family is perfect.
You’ll need to make sure that people are dealing with the situation the right way. Take into account the teen’s needs and wishes. Even in Christian families, some parents pressure teens into having an abortion.
Stay in contact with the teen. Offer counseling and pastoral help to both the teenage parents (and their parents, if possible). Don’t let go until you’re certain everything is okay.
Have you dealt with a teen pregnancy in youth group? Do you have other advice to add?
