How to tell your youth leader you’re pregnant is a search term that appeared in my blog statistics recently. That makes me sad, because you can sense a story here. Somewhere, a pregnant teen is scared to death because she has to tell her youth pastor she’s pregnant. In most churches, that probably doesn’t go over well.
I’ve written about handling a teenage pregnancy in your youth group. So that’s probably why that search term pointed to my blog. Here’s some advice for a pregnant teen who’s scared to reveal her pregnancy.
How To Tell Your Youth Leader You’re Pregnant
Dear pregnant girl, I can imagine you’re scared about how your youth leader will react. I wish I could assure you he or she will be compassionate and understanding. But I can’t.
I know how tough it was for me when one of “my girls” told me she was pregnant. It wasn’t that I was angry or disappointed. I just felt sad because I knew what it would mean for her life and I had wished her so much better. In hindsight, I could have responded better, and I promise I will if there’s a next time.
I advise you to make an appointment to talk about this with your youth leader. Don’t just ambush him or her after youth group or church. It’s always better to talk about this in a quiet environment, where there’s time to respond well.
Also, pray before telling your youth leader about your pregnancy. Ask God to give you the right words and the courage to be completely honest. It’s also OK to pray that your youth leader will respond with love and compassion. God can change people, so even if you suspect your youth leader won’t react that way, ask God to change his or her heart.
And if they do respond negatively? If they do show condemnation and judgment? Try to forgive them. That’s not easy, especially with everything going on in your life already. But holding on to anger and bitterness won’t do you or your baby any good.
Also, don’t believe them. They’re right when they say you’ve sinned. But that doesn’t mean they’re any better or that you deserve some kind of punishment.
Know That God Loves You
I hope you know God loves you no matter what you’ve done. Christ died for all our sins, including premarital sex. People may sometimes make you feel like sexual sins are pretty much unforgivable, but that’s nonsense. If you confess your sins to God and trust in Jesus’ sacrifice for your sins, then God will forgive you. That’s a guaranteed promise.
And dear, dear pregnant girl: I realize this pregnancy might not be your fault at all. You may have suffered abuse or rape. Maybe someone forced you into doing something you never wanted. If that’s the case, then my heart goes out to you even more.
No matter how difficult it may be, you need to tell someone. If your youth leader doesn’t respond well, keep trying. Go to a school counselor, another trusted adult, or even the police. Find the courage to stand up for yourself. God is with you, right beside you, every step of the way.