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4 Signs That Person Is NOT the One

not the one

Several months ago, I wrote a post outlining some signs that who you’re dating may be the one to settle down with and marry. I wanted to follow that up with a post outlining some ways you can know that who you’re dating is not the one to marry.

The truth is, more marriages end in divorce these days than stay intact for life. We have to be sure that who we’re committing our life to is the one that we can spend the rest of our life with.

Marriage is a big deal to God, regardless of what society has made it.

Here you go, four signs that who you’re dating is not the one…

1. This person is not the one if you don’t see eye to eye spiritually.

This is the biggy. There’s that thing about being unequally yoked in 2 Corinthians 6, and Paul meant what he said.

The priorities, challenges, temptations, battles and loves of a believer and a nonbeliever make it very difficult to marry someone outside of the Christian faith. When the first big storm of marriage comes, it’s important that you see eye to eye on Who can help fix it.

Many marriages end because people didn’t get this right. Be careful. (Note: If you are married to a nonbeliever, there IS still hope. Don’t give up.)

2. This person is not the one if you aren’t best friends.

One of the biggest reasons I married my wife is because she was my best friend. I knew when I married her that we clicked socially and relationally.

It’s in those friend moments that we know we’ve made the right choice. Is sex good? Yes! Is friendship the glue for the relationship? Definitely.

Make sure you’re best friends with him or her…it will be a lot more fun!

3. This person is not the one if you can’t fully trust them.

Trust and communication are the two biggest components of a good marriage. If you find yourself doubting your trust for your boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t take the next step yet.

Be sure you’re in the 100-percent-trust zone. Be sure you can trust them with 100 percent of stuff, 100 percent of the time. Will they let you down? Sure. Will you trust them after and through? That’s the test.

4. This person is not the one if you still think about who else could be out there.

Duh! Right? If you still think about who else is out there or if it could still work with so and so, don’t get married. You’ll always be uncommitted and you’re cutting your hand off before a thumb-wrestling match…you just aren’t going to win.

Be sure he or she is the right one for you…no one else!

What other signs can you mention?

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Jonathan is the Communications & Online Pastor for Cornerstone Community Church in Orangeburg, SC. He is a young leader with a heart for people that have never encountered Christ. His passion is to lead the millennial generation to connect and grow with Christ. He graduated from Charleston Southern University in December of ’08 and married the love of his life a week later.