Teens and purity … That combination has always been a tough topic. Many parents and youth leaders almost expect that teenagers and young adults will choose impurity over purity. And the opportunities to do so have seemingly increased.
The challenge of teens and purity requires serious thought and prayer. Our sinful desires often drive us. Satan tempts us to choose the temporary, fleeting pleasures of lust over the eternal, satisfying delight in the Lord. We must not shrink back in fear or sit still in ignorance.
These days, teen purity is up against new challenges, such as online porn. Yet we can still point kids to the old but true and tested wisdom of God’s Word.
4 Guidelines for the Issue of Teens and Purity
1. Frame the call to purity in the broader call to sanctification.
Parents’ ultimate desire should be that children treasure Christ above all else. If we place abstinence or any other good pursuit as their ultimate priority, we’ll misdirect students from what matters most and from what ultimately leads to a pure life in the long run.
So talk about purity often (see point #2). But don’t talk about it only. Talk as much about reading God’s Word, prayer, gossip, what they’re listening to/watching, living for Christ at school, dealing with relationship conflicts, etc.
Follow the pattern of Proverbs. Purity is such a significant issue it takes up the better part of four chapters (5-9). But it’s neither the first topic nor the majority of the text. Purity, like all godliness, begins with the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 1:7).
Don’t neglect the urgency of teens and purity. But remember: The pathway to lasting purity is a growing love and likeness to Jesus Christ.
2. Talk early and often about teens and purity.
Many parents talk to their teenagers about sex and purity too late. In fact, you’re probably late if you wait until they’re teenagers! Statistics show that one in every three children between ages 11-14 have seen pornography on a mobile device. (See point #3.) So…
- Be the first voice your child hears about sex and purity.
- Be the first to tell your child that God created sex and that sex is good.
- Also be the first to warn about the perils of pornography.
- Be the first to share the joy and benefits of purity.
- And be the first to point kids to Jesus. He can sustain them in their pursuit of purity and restore them from impurity.
These conversations won’t all happen in one setting. When kids are young, have the talks on a need-to-know basis. Just don’t neglect to talk about purity. Talk about it when kids bring it up. Talk about it when your discernment prompts you to bring it up. Bring it up often and don’t stop talking about it.
Remember: You don’t need to talk to teens about this issue out of fear or anxiety. Teach out of wisdom to lead kids in the path of purity. For suggestions about helpful resources, see “When It’s Time for the Talk” by Tim Challies.
