The other day as I walked through my neighborhood park, a group of teenagers filming a trending dance caught my eye. I briefly overheard one of them mention “going viral” as they rehearsed. In the same way, my friend last week shared that while waiting for his to-go coffee order he noticed a group of teens huddled together with thumbs swiping up and onto the next video, discussing the apparent response one received from a social media influencer.
It’s true that Gen Z is the most media-saturated generation in history. And it’s true that their social capital—a largely digital socialization for many—is often rooted in their social media and online pursuits. It’s also true that we’re just now beginning to understand these effects.
According to new data from The Relate Project, which surveyed more than 7,000 adolescents worldwide, more than 40 percent of teenagers do not feel worthy of being loved. And it’s my hunch that these feelings of unworthiness may stem from this digital infiltration as they consume the internet or their social media platforms, looking for acknowledgment from others and vying for ways to stand out. This, they’re led to believe, is what validates. This is what some think affirms that they are worthy of love.
Of course, social media isn’t all negative, nor is the report on teenagers all bleak. In fact, the same teens surveyed were surprisingly self-confident: 80 percent of adolescents say they like themselves. Unsurprisingly, those who embraced a faith tradition reported having a greater sense of belonging, more close relationships, and a healthier self-concept – i.e., identity and agency.
And yet the fact remains—while they may hold themselves in high regard, many teens today feel undeserving of love from others and wrestle with a keen fear of rejection that one could argue is more disrupting than any other generation before them.
This leads me to wonder: How can we counteract the negative effects of social media and help young people embrace healthier forms of social capital? How might we model and affirm to young people that the influencers and influencing platforms, likes, or shares cannot and do not determine their worth? Ultimately, how can we turn the tide and ensure that adolescents everywhere intrinsically feel, sense, and believe that they are worthy of love, simply as they are?
As Christians, we know that our worthiness is grounded in something and someone more stable and secure than anything this digital age can offer: Jesus Christ. Jesus proved our worth through his death and resurrection. He proved it through his sacrificial love. Through the pages of Scripture, we see Jesus model how we are to affirm this worthiness in others. How?
Time.
The time Jesus invested in his followers speaks to the heart of the matter. Time may be the greatest form of capital each of us has at our disposal. Our data confirms this: While many in Gen Z look to their phones for relationships and connection, many more tell us they still prefer face-to-face interactions.
The bottom line? Young people need our undivided attention, and they need it perhaps now more than ever. Nothing communicates worth and value more than putting down our phones, pulling up a chair, and spending time with someone we love. Gen Z needs to lock eyes with us and feel that they matter. Quality time reassures them they are worthy of our attention and, yes, our love.
Adolescents today have access to news and information like no other generation before. They have seen wealth increase and then rapidly deteriorate in the bitcoin debacle. In 2020, this cohort of kids and young adults was robbed of high school and college graduations, proms, and critical social interactions. Moreover, these same young people have experienced “cancel culture” and even witnessed a former president nearly be assassinated before their very young eyes.
