Need fuel for kidmin leaders and church staff? Learn how filling your leadership tank gives you the fuel to lead your entire team.
“It’s just a busy season. I promise I’ll be home more when I finish this project.” I apologized to my husband as I raced out the door for an early-morning meeting. Then I’d have a full day of ministry and a late-night event.
When I snuck into bed later, hoping I wouldn’t wake him, he sighed. “It’s not just a season, Jen. It’s you,” he said. “There’s always another project. There’s always more you need to do. It doesn’t matter what the job is or who your boss is; you always run yourself ragged. You have to make choices that will sustain you.”
As you can imagine, I didn’t receive my husband’s comments well. And it wasn’t just that I was tired and irritable. It was because he was right. I knew it, but I didn’t want to admit it. I wanted to believe I was the victim of my circumstances.
But the hard truth? I needed to make wiser choices and create healthy boundaries so I could lead better over the long haul. I was touting health and balance to my team—but making excuses for why those same principles didn’t apply to me.
An “Ah-ha” Moment
That discussion and many others like it finally caused me to learn what I believe is one of the most important principles of leadership: Lead yourself well to lead others better. It’s the grand “ah-ha” of my leadership journey that’s also become something like beating my head against the proverbial wall. When am I going to finally get this? When will I understand that I must lead myself well before I ever hope to lead and influence others?
Part of our responsibility as leaders is understanding our influence on others. Here’s another hard truth: Leadership is only as strong as the leader. And that is the reason your leadership journey must begin with leading yourself well.
Organizational psychologist and business consultant Mark Freeman defines self-leadership as “the process of influencing ourselves and developing the self-motivation needed to perform.” Leading ourselves well is the starting point of leadership because it challenges us to define our motives for leading. It forces us to dig up what lies deep and undercover—the very foundation of our leadership.
Many skills contribute to learning to lead yourself well. But here are the core elements you need to develop self-leadership: character, discipline, and self-awareness.
3 Sources of Fuel for KidMin Leaders
1. Character
This is frequently defined as “who you are when no one’s looking.” Ask yourself this: “What kind of person do I really want to be?” Character is the relentless pursuit of the qualities you want to be true of yourself at all times—not just during moments in the leadership spotlight. As people of faith, this means we must pay attention to our spiritual and emotional health. Ask yourself:
- How am I growing in Christ-likeness?
- How is the fruit of the Spirit evident in my life and my leadership?
2. Discipline
As leaders, we can’t expect others to do things we’re not modeling ourselves. That’s why discipline is so important to self-leadership. Discipline begins with your commitment to be an initiator and to become known as someone others can count on to get things done.
Put another way, discipline is demonstrating an ability to set goals and meet them in all areas of your life, such as personal, professional, relational, and recreational.
One common and important discipline for leaders is a commitment to developing their skills. Disciplined people are fanatic lifelong learners and often ferocious readers. They insist on surrounding themselves with mentors to learn from. Ask yourself:
- What’s my concrete plan for developing my skills?
- How well am I setting goals and meeting them in all areas of my life? How can I improve?
