Sex Positive Parenting and What That Means for Your Family

As parents, we know that God made our children with desires and passions that he intends for good. Yet they’re often portrayed as terribly bad by how we talk (or fail to talk) about them.

Next I’ll share practical ways to help you embrace sex positive parenting and teaching.

Tenets of Sex Positive Parenting

1. Open conversation is good. 

Psalm 32:8 I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go.

God provides parents to give kids information and direction about life. And sex will probably be a big part of their life, for the rest of their life.

Part of the difficulty is that we put off talking about sex until kids are at an age when it’s quite awkward. By contrast, when parents are intentional about teaching children about sexuality from a younger age, they open a conversation that lasts for years to come. They prepare children for a lifelong understanding of, and greater success in, this area.

We should be able to discuss God’s plan for sex and how we can use it to honor God. This also opens the door for children to ask us questions rather than sneak around to find them elsewhere.

Let’s not be naive. Kids do and will continue to have questions about sex. So why should we deceive ourselves into thinking they don’t? How difficult do we make it when God has wired children to think about their sexuality, but we refuse to provide a safe place to talk about it?

I recently heard that 95% of homes are silent or shaming of sex. Are we helping or hurting our families by not talking about this topic?

My wife and I opened up the conversation about sex with our children from young ages. That’s been hugely beneficial for them and us. Plus, it lets us have multiple conversations over the years about tough topics. Because we talked about sex early and told our kids that no questions are off limits, those conversations have rarely been awkward. Our children know that we actually want them to talk to us about these things.

2. Body awareness is good.

Psalm 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  

Your child’s body is a beautiful and precious gift from God. They should take care of it and safeguard it as a valuable gift to one day give a spouse.

Kids need to understand that their body is not a bad thing. It has great purpose and value. Don’t be afraid to talk with your children about their bodies. And don’t be afraid to refer to parts of the body for what they are. Children need to have positive self-esteem and realize that God created them good.

If kids hear only negative words about their body and sexuality, we’ve done them a great disservice. That can create a real difficulty when they get married someday. Then they’ll have to mentally flip a switch that everything that used to be bad (their body) is now suddenly good.

This terribly complicates things, and a better way exists. Yes, God gave us rules for how to use and cover our bodies. And children need to heed the dangers and destruction that can come from disregarding God’s plan. However, they also need to know that this isn’t because their bodies are bad. Rather, it’s because they are very good and worth protecting.