Brené Brown‘s definition of trust is called “braving” which is actually an acronym that gives us the anatomy of trust. If this definition within a definition hasn’t already confused you, read on!
What Is ‘Braving’?
Brown explained “The Anatomy of Trust” in her recent SuperSoul Session. As always, her storytelling is on par. She explained how trust is a lot like a marble jar, which was a discipline and reward system her daughter’s teacher used in the classroom. If the class did positive things, marbles went in the jar and there’s a party when the jar is full. If the class did something negative, then marbles are taken out of the jar.
When her daughter came home from school hurt and afraid to trust again because some friends broke her trust, Brown said to her, “Trust is like a marble jar. You share those hard stories and those hard things that are happening to you with friends who over time you’ve filled up their marble jar. They’ve done thing after thing after thing where you know you can trust this person.”
We often think trust is built by grand gestures at crucial moments in our lives, but trust is typically built with simplicity and small actions.
After looking at the research Brown said, “It’s very clear. Trust is built in very small moments.”
In relationships, we have opportunities to build trust or to betray the trust of another.
“To choose not to connect when the opportunity is there is a moment of betrayal,” she said.
We trust those friends and loved ones whose jars are full. These are the people who have built up a store of trust moments with us.
Now the question is, “What are the marbles?” and “What is trust?”
Brown said Charles Feltman had the “most beautiful definition of trust,” which was “Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.”
“Feltman says that distrust is what I’ve shared with you that is important to me is not safe with you,” Brown continued.
Basically, “When we trust, we are braving connection with someone. So what is trust?” Brene Brown’s definition of trust gives us the acronym BRAVING, which is the anatomy of trust: