After Divorce, Jen Hatmaker Stopped ‘Sleepwalking’
In her memoir, Jen Hatmaker describes marrying at 19, never having “an independent adult minute” before the divorce, and not knowing anything about her finances. “I absolutely have been sleepwalking,” she realized, despite assuming she was a “self-actualized person with this huge career.”
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In 2014, the Hatmakers appeared on the HGTV show “My Big Family Renovation.”
After her divorce, Jen Hatmaker traveled solo for a month. She found joy in being on her “own dime” and her “own time,” adding, “I like my own company.”
Hatmaker, who’s now in a long-distance relationship with author Tyler Merritt, said she and her ex had been in marriage counseling right before they split. Brandon’s affair occurred over a “devastating time span,” Hatmaker writes, and he put the family into “financial chaos” by buying his girlfriend “expensive and lavish gifts.”
Brandon made no effort to reconcile their marriage, according to Hatmaker, because he said he no longer had feelings for her. The betrayal made her feel like a “failure,” she admitted, because she was known for encouraging Christian women to speak up for themselves and build strong relationships.
In “Awake,” Hatmaker also writes about splitting up with the church. “I found the environment so triggering” after the divorce, she explained. “I had to bear the weight of everyone else’s shock, their sadness, and even worse, their pity. I just couldn’t handle it.”
Hatmaker might return to church someday, she said, but for now she’s “finding a meaningful faith outside of [traditional] spaces.” She also hopes other women benefit from her experiences.
“I am in the driver’s seat” now, Hatmaker said. “I’ll never outsource my life again.”
“None of us are defined by the men who leave us.” — @JenHatmakerClick to Post
