Its not that Nichole didn’t have the knowledge, she explained, “I’ve gone to church my whole life, and I knew that God was there for me and that He loves me.”
But, Nichole said, “for some reason I was ashamed of feeling angry. I was ashamed of that. But really, in my life, I had so much to be angry about at that time.”
“No, I didn’t sit in that anger, but when I finally said it out loud, that was the moment I actually realized, I can heal from this,” she said. “I don’t actually have to just keep sitting and holding on to it and starting to resent the Lord because I’m mad that He’s not changing my circumstances, but I’m not talking to Him about it.”
Nichole opened up about her struggles with mental health and how the church can sometimes come across more harmful than helpful.
“I kept asking God to take it away. I said, ‘Lord, I just want You to fix my mind,’ because clearly, I thought it was broken,” she shared. “Over time, slowly realized that my brain is my superpower and also my weakness. It’s that way for anyone who struggles with mental health.”
The “Healing Now” singer continued, Someone listening will relate. “I have ADHD. It can be my greatest strength, helping me multitask, but also my room is a disaster. But I think that everything I’ve gone through has led me to relate to others and make them feel like, ‘It’s not just me.’ Anytime I meet someone who deals with the same thing, I’m like, ‘We’re best friends.’” She said, It makes you feel “like you’re not going crazy.”
“I think God didn’t take it away because He wants to use me to help others in their mental health journey,” she added.
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“Praying it away” was something Nichole did “for so long” but said it “didn’t go away. If anything it got worse,” she shared.
Nichole encouraged those who, like her, still deals with mental health issues after praying and knowing God can heal, that “God can use” whatever they are going through for his glory.
“God didn’t take it away, but he did in fact give me the blessings and the resources in order to go through it together,” Nichole said. “He is leading me through this and He is giving me things that are actually bringing me healing along the way.”
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With the help of medication, therapy and psychiatric support, Nichole shared some of those resources. “I take a very low dose of an antidepressant. Without it, I wouldn’t want to be alive.” Medication helps with her OCD and anxiety. Nichole said that taking medication reduced her panic attacks drastically.
I think a lot of people often don’t want to face the reality that some people actually need medication for mental health because it’s an sickness,” she said. And compared it going to the doctor when they need help with other organs in their bodies.
