Shaddix shared that it wasn’t easy for him and that the path was filled with failure.
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“It was a rocky path to find that and a lot of failure and a lot of questioning and turning my will over to God and following and then taking it all back and then living my way and then repeatedly finding myself just in that deep, dark hole,” he said. “And when I finally put the bottle down and it was that foxhole prayer where I’m just like, ‘God do you just hear me? Can you hear me? I need a miraculous change. I need something beyond what I can do.’”
He continued, “Because I kept trying to control the change in my life. And [then] just the walls fell.”
Papa Roach Frontman Witnessed His Friend ‘Talking the Talk’ and ‘Walking the Walk’
“I had a fella that I was real close with that walked my faith journey out with me,” Shaddix shared. “I was very skeptical and [thought] these church people are weird.”
But, Shaddix said, when he witnessed his friend’s “faith walk alive” in front of him—that his friend was “talking the talk and walking the walk”—and saw transformation, it became real to him and made him less “fearful” of putting his faith in Jesus.
“I’ll try to believe,” Shaddix said, “and then it became like I’m a full-blown believer.” Shaddix later began “doing a Bible study with a buddy of mine.”
“And it is tripping me out because I’m starting to experience different levels of freedom, of bondage, of self,” he said. “Things that maybe I once thought were acceptable in my life, now I’m like, ‘Nah man, that ain’t serving you. It’s not working for you anymore—it’s hindering your growth. It’s messing up relationships.’”
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He continued, “This is a little secret that you’re keeping back tucked away over here. The more that I purge these things and turn it over and just walk in the light, I feel like it’s the way, it’s the path.” Shaddix said he had tried the other way, and it wasn’t working for him.
As he began to grow in his relationship with Jesus, the singer, known for his edgy “Last Resort” rock and roll persona, said he “didn’t want to share it with people.”
