Steingard also began to doubt that the Bible was God’s word, seeing many contradictions in it. He said, “Suffice it to say that when I began to believe that the Bible was simply a book written by people as flawed and imperfect as I am—that was when my belief in God began to truly unravel.” Realizing he believed that God might not exist was a terrifying experience. Said Steingard, “The implications of that idea were absolutely massive.”
The singer said he has shared publicly in the past about his struggles with depression, and he revealed that losing his faith was the main source of that struggle. He did not know how to handle losing something that had been so central to his life. He wasn’t sure what to teach his children about faith, and he feared that if he were honest about the change in his beliefs, his friends and family would abandon him. These fears and worries led him to a “very dark place.” But now, he says, he has mostly left that dark place because people did not abandon him when he was truthful about his experience.
While Steingard does feel he has lost something, he also feels a sense of freedom and relief now that he is finally being honest about what he believes. Fellow band member Daniel Biro responded on Hawk Nelson’s Facebook page, “Forever grateful for these brothers of mine. We’ve been through some highs and lows together and we share a very special bond that can’t be broken…God has a unique path for each of us and it’s important that we stay honest with one another. Looking forward to seeing how each of us continue to G R O W .”
Over 2,700 people have commented on Steingard’s post, most thanking him for his honesty and expressing their support, whether they agree with him or not. Many said they had similar experiences deconstructing from Christianity, while others said they cared for and were praying for the singer. One person questioned why Steingard felt the need to share his loss of faith publicly and potentially hurt the faith of others, to which the singer responded, “I lived out my faith publicly—it felt dishonest to say nothing now. Believe me—I wrestled with it a lot.”
Fellow Christian artists also commented on Steingard’s post, expressing their love for him. Jeremy Camp, whose story is featured in the movie I Still Believe, said, “Love you bro. Always will.” Jordan Feliz said, “I am always here for you, no matter what.” Jeff Owens of Tenth Avenue North said, “I’m here for you and love you.”
Toward the end of his post, Steingard wrote, “I’m open to the idea that God is there. I’d prefer it if he was. I suspect if he is there, he is very different than what I was taught. I know my parents pray that God reveals himself to me. If he’s there, I hope he does.”
